My fiancee 's elderly 81 year old Father insists on paying his own bills.The problem is he "hoards" his mail, and then forgets to pay the bill.Then gets mad when he has too pay them all at once. He then goes on this rampage trying to get money out of us (yes,we live with him.) We pay all food and personal items, and $400 a month.I work as his caregiver. How do I get his boys aware that they need to assist him?
I agree with others, your fiancé and bros need to step up to the plate, get poa and get their ducks in a row and deal with this. You think it's tough now, think what this guy will be like in 4 or five years.
I would keep records of everything you have paid for—receipts, cancelled checks, etc. and, I wouldn’t try to force “the boys”into doing anything. If they’re forced, they won’t take the initiative and really do much of anything. As a last resort, you could always quit as Dad’s caregiver and find a place of your own. Then his sons would have to step up.
Your profile says that your fiancee 's Dad has mobility problem, so he may feel he is able to control his own finances since there doesn't seem to be any memory issues except general age decline.
My elderly Dad [90+] use to throw the bills into recycling thinking those envelopes were junk mail. Thank goodness his caregiver saw this and called me. But my Dad was more then happy for me to take over all of his financials just as long as he was still in the loop seeing statements.
And don't let the boys feel that because you are a woman that you need to be the caregiver. Not in today's world.
Oh, regarding the boys.... are these fellows your financee's brothers or his sons? Depending on their age, there should be some type of chore they can help out with.