My dad is 89 and was diagnosed with alzhiemer's this year. His wife died back in May and he has been one lost soul since then.
I live out of state and have visited him 4 times this year. Each time, I have been able to tell that he is declining more and more.
My step-sister lives here and is his Durable and Medical POA. She's doing a great job and has people staying with my dad 24/7 in three shifts. She told me tonight that his memory is getting worse and wrose and his anger is increasing also. He can walk around very slowly with the help of a cane, but he needs a walker which he refuses.
He wants to stay in his home as long as he can, but we are not sure now that he could even go to assisted living given how much help he needs throughout the day and how declined his mind is.
When we visited this morning, he acted like he was not all that excited to see us, ( me, my wife, and our two sons) which is far different that our experience of him back in October. We had hoped that he would go out ot eat with us tonight with my step-siblings and their spouses, but he was not up to it. However, he normally goes out to eat with us when we come and he is able to go out with other people at other times who take him out. Now that it has turned cold, he is not very excited about getting out.
We went back after supper and gave him his Christmas present. He was awake but still in his bed. He was glad to see us and we made it a short visit.
When was the last time the city he is in was shut down by weather? If it happens several times a season you should carefully consider moving for his safety. But if it happens rarely and hasn't happened for several years, then you just need a contingency plan. Does S-sis live close enough to him to probably be able to relieve the caregiver? Could she? Could a caregiver stay beyond her shift until roads opened up?
Placement might be good for Dad. It was awesome for my mother. She has blossomed with social interactions (although it took her a few months to feel secure and safe). Or staying in his familiar surrounding might be best. If safety and financial considerations don't force the issue, you can ponder what is best for him.
Just because he has dementia doesn't mean he'd need memory care. Is he a risk for wandering? Is his behavior disruptive? Those are generally the two reasons someone needs a secure memory facility. It sounds like Dad would need a nursing-home level of care, not ALF.
If your dad was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's, I would guess that he has Lewy Body Dementia. It is also possible that he has Alzheimer's, of course -- the two kinds of dementia are not mutually exclusive. But with Parkinson's he has Lewy bodies (protein deposits) in his brain, so that is the most likely type of dementia. In any case, it might be useful to read up on LBD and see if that fits his symptoms better. If I were yous s-sister I'd follow up about that with the doctor who is treating his dementia. LBD often responds better than ALZ to certain kinds of treatments.
He was wise to stop taking a medication that had side effects, but there are many other medications he can try, depending on his current symptoms. He may need to have his anxiety treated, for example, if he is increasingly angry.
I wish your family the best. It is sometimes very challenging to figure out what that is.
Also, he has been recently diagnosed with parkinsans.
My dad refuses to get a walker, but maybe he will change his mind. He is a very stubborn man.
The most difficult part of placement for them is it will require separation, maybe even different facilities, Mom needs memory care possibly even skilled nursing. They are still well taken care of but my dysfunctional family makes it even more difficult. And wonder what I will do with my life if I get it back. I have officially started to look for work which would help with my transition. But, us caregivers you know just sit around and eat bon bons all day with our soap operas;); who would hire us lazy bums?!
Plus it is time to give your step-sister a break from overseeing his care, there would be less to worry about such as Caregivers not being able to come to the home in the winter weather, or of power-outages, or maintaining his home, and other errands needed.
Oh, does your Dad have a rolling walker, one that has hand brakes, plus a seat? One of those walkers made a world of difference for my Dad. Whenever I take Dad to the doctor, he is down the hall to the doctor's office in no time, leaving the rest of us in a cloud of dust... he's like a kid with that thing.
I can see your point about difficulties where your Dad's house is. In my Mom's case she has been in this house more than 50 years so is a nice family neighborhood with good schools, all the things families look for. There are a few of these long time owners still around. But the large majority moved years ago.
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