I have cared for my mom for 9 almost 10 yrs Im the 7th child out of 8. The rest are to selfish to call or write or anything at all. when she dies I have no intention of letting anyone of them know, Don't care how or if they ever find out. I don't have anything nice to say to them. Don't plan on trying to ever see them again. What can happen to me if I dont say anything and just let them find out on facebook, newspaper, If they cared they would have been there I would have to say anything I feel if you wanted, to know they should have been involved, they weren't so Ill wait for them to ask they haven't asked in 9+ yrs.I know they don't plan on being asking anytime soon and my feeling don't care. Dont have anything at all nice to say to anyone of them oh ya I'm the youngest of the girls and I have 1 younger brother. The rest are all older. I have no respect at all for anyone of them. I shouldn't have to ask them to help me do anything as far as my mom is concern they should have been here they should have called they should have done something anything all this time. For all of them to have disregarded her in this matter, I pray for them They will be in the same place one day, What goes around comes back . Honor thy Parents, Its not hard to do, just do, When my mom ask me to come help her she was getting her 1st hip replace in 2007, I didnt think twice about it I was able to, So I moved in with her and her 2nd husband , All I knew was I needed to take care of both of them so I went into auto piolet I didn't understand a lot of things but as time went on I have always been a hands on kind of person , Her husband passed away in 2009, So Its been just me & my mom. she has had 4 more joints replaced giving her a total of 7 both knees ,hips, shoulders, 1 elbow, I have learned a lot from her, taking care of her I left home at 13. I didn't get to spend time with her , so All this time I have gotten to know her and I am so greatfull that I have been given the opportunity. And I know I am a better women for it. I know that how I feel about her other children is taking away from the time and energy I could use in growing I'm hoping this helps me put my feelings away so I can go forward in life, But its been eating away at me, The hardest thing in all of this is seeing my mom wanting them to care to visit, she still has unconditional love for them no matter what knowing she is hurting kills me ,I'm the only one she sees and I'm doing everything she has gotten to the point where she selectively cant hear me, I repeat things so much I don't want to hear it.. So I write it down so I don't get upset, I have thick skin,But my hair is on the thin side
When most of my siblings arrived from the states, we all agreed that since mom's siblings visited bedridden mom not over 5 times in 10 years, that we will not tell them that she's dying. If her 6 siblings here on island could not find the time to visit their sister at least one time a year, then they're not really interested in her true health. Mom died. And then SIL called our cousin that she's closest too - and told her to spread the word. That was it. We didn't call the aunties and uncles.
You should have seen how the aunty and the uncle tried to hijack mom's funeral. Sis and SIL fought hard to maintain control. They weren't around for their own sister but wanted to go all out on mom's funeral?! I don't think so! We kept it simple.....
For your mom's sake, I would ask your siblings again to come and visit mom. You don't have to talk to them. Send them a text or an email. Then it's up to them whether they come or not. Keep the text and email as proof that you invited them to visit mom. In the end, at least you know you tried to honor your mother's desire to see her other children. You tried. You take care...
cisca, your hatred toward your siblings is not hurting them at all, but it is hurting you. Seek to let it go since they have chosen to do nothing. Otherwise, holding on to resentment and anger is like drinking poison. You've done well land did what needed to be done. Take care of yourself.