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Talking to one self is not necessarily abnormal. Many people talk aloud their thoughts sometimes. "That's way too expensive, how do you think we can afford that", sound very logical and realistic. It does not suggest psychosis. The fact that he stops the conversation when somebody enters the room, it shows awareness of his environment and embarrassment. That's a normal reaction. Psychotic people occasionally get into hallucinatory conversations with non-existing persons. But the content of the conversation is weird. Sometimes is a fight or angry exchanges. A psychotic person will not stop the imaginary conversation when somebody comes into the room, because to him/her, the conversation with other people is real, not imaginary.
If talking to yourself, or muttering, or talking to the dogs or cat is not "normal" I am in a world of hurt! If he is by himself often I would not worry about it. If he is in a group of people and carries on a conversation with himself or someone that is not visible THEN you can begin to worry. When he starts losing arguments with himself, you can worry. 😉
If you are concerned about dementia or mental illness discuss it with him and his doctors. I do have to ask though at 50 why is he living with you? Does he have medical conditions that make this necessary?
Thank you so much for answering my question. To answer your question I’m living with my dad for 2 weeks just to spend some time with him, my mum and younger sister. But I don’t think I have explained my situation correctly. Unfortunately my uncle has passed away 1 week ago (on my mums side) but my dad has never met him so they are not close at all. However my mum is grieving and went to her family home and called to say his wish was to get a coffin and the one he wanted was extremely expensive. So my dad has been saying ‘That’s way to expensive how do you think can afford that’ and then he will take a break then say ‘ no, no you are not understanding me that’s not what I’m saying.’ So I’ve been puzzled as to if he is releasing all his concerns/worries or preparing what he wants to say when my mum wants to call again or he is having a conversation with somebody invisible. (As someone has said it sounds as if he is carrying on a conversation with someone
If your Dad is saying that an ‘extremely expensive coffin’ is too much money, he sounds perfectly sensible to me! Particularly if your mother was suggesting helping to pay for it. Many people re-run conversations in their head. Doing it aloud if you are on your own is OK.
I think you are right in that he is "rehearsing" or trying out what to say to mom. Funeral expenses are outrageous and to help someone pay for some of those expenses is hard. Personal opinion, dad should be honest with mom and tell her that it is a bit more than they can afford right now. To me it does not make sense to spend money on a box that you are going to bury and no matter how expensive it is no one will see it again. If they want a real fancy one for the viewing many homes will "rent one" then the person can be buried in a less expensive one.
Yeah my husband caught me doing that when i was hanging out washing and asked who I was talking to. Funny as. But on a serious note, my Dad has talked to himself for years. Particularly while he’s taking a shower, he used to do maths deductions out loud. This was before he got dementia and was of alleged sound mind. Go figure.
Well, it sounds like dad is carrying on a conversation with someone rather than talking to himself. Sometimes I'll talk to myself and say "ohhhh don't forget to order refills on the meds." Something like that. But dad is discussing the purchase of something and whether its affordable or not, as if someone is in his ear urging him to buy something expensive. To me that sounds potentially worrisome. Plus he clams up when someone comes into the room, meaning he knows what he's doing is odd or questionable.
Nobody but a qualified doctor can tell you what's going on with dad, or if something is amiss. I'd see about getting him an appointment with his PCP and if you can alert him beforehand about what's going on, that could be helpful in ordering the appropriate tests he may deem necessary. Or in referring dad to a different care provider.
I think it’s like dreaming. He’s working out a concern.
On occasion I’ve done my thinking audibly when I’m very riled, tired, and worried. I’ve said to no one, and out of earshot, “Of course you’re not worried. It’s all on my back 24/7 while you’re Mr. Don’t Know What’s the Heck is Going On Happy Pants”.
Wish that I could say it’s normal because I do it too. What the heck. It’s normal.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I get a bit weary of the criticism sometimes, but I suspect that's normal too.
Psychotic people occasionally get into hallucinatory conversations with non-existing persons. But the content of the conversation is weird. Sometimes is a fight or angry exchanges. A psychotic person will not stop the imaginary conversation when somebody comes into the room, because to him/her, the conversation with other people is real, not imaginary.
If he is by himself often I would not worry about it.
If he is in a group of people and carries on a conversation with himself or someone that is not visible THEN you can begin to worry.
When he starts losing arguments with himself, you can worry. 😉
If you are concerned about dementia or mental illness discuss it with him and his doctors.
I do have to ask though at 50 why is he living with you? Does he have medical conditions that make this necessary?
Once again, thank you for your response! 😊
Frequently.
Funeral expenses are outrageous and to help someone pay for some of those expenses is hard.
Personal opinion, dad should be honest with mom and tell her that it is a bit more than they can afford right now.
To me it does not make sense to spend money on a box that you are going to bury and no matter how expensive it is no one will see it again.
If they want a real fancy one for the viewing many homes will "rent one" then the person can be buried in a less expensive one.
figure.
Nobody but a qualified doctor can tell you what's going on with dad, or if something is amiss. I'd see about getting him an appointment with his PCP and if you can alert him beforehand about what's going on, that could be helpful in ordering the appropriate tests he may deem necessary. Or in referring dad to a different care provider.
Best of luck.
On occasion I’ve done my thinking audibly when I’m very riled, tired, and worried. I’ve said to no one, and out of earshot, “Of course you’re not worried. It’s all on my back 24/7 while you’re Mr. Don’t Know What’s the Heck is Going On Happy Pants”.
Wish that I could say it’s normal because I do it too.
What the heck. It’s normal.