My FIL lives in a little trailer, 20 steps from our back door. It got up to 99° in the trailer yesterday. My husband is worried that we will be in trouble legally if dad gets heat stroke or dies because of the heat. But FIL insists he is tough and refuses to come into the house. He doesn’t have dementia. He has always been “don’t tell me what to do”. Usually he will bend to my will because he is dependent on me for food, laundry, dog care, etc. But he has gotten stubborn on this.
It would be sad if he died, but he is just being himself.
Would we be held accountable if he got sick or died?
My FIL has air conditioning, but the trailer isn’t well insulated.
He turns the heat on every morning. It will be in the mid 90s soon and his trailer is already at 85°. He won’t budge.
So, does he get to harm himself if he chooses?
This is is personality, not dementia.
It takes no time at all for an elder in a trailer to lose consciousness. I have a friend in an old historic park in Palm Springs, and ever year there is an accidental death, one at least from an old unit going out of commission and not fixed quickly enough. Elders are poor at recognizing heat stroke and almost always enter hospital ERs dehydrated due to having lost the drive to take in fluids that younger people still have.
I do not know if you could be held legally responsible. Certainly it is my own opinion that you are morally responsible.
A/C makes me cold. We keep ours at 77° just enough to get rid of the humidity and be comfortable. I was always told that trailers are very well insulated. Maybe he gets cold with A/C. Does the trailer have ceiling fans? You can set a/c high and get a floor fan that can oscillate to help distribute the cooler air.
Try not to boss him around. As my daughter says, make them feel they made the decision. Ex daughter gave: resident needed a bath and refused it. Daughter said "but Mrs. S wouldn't you feel so much better all clean and smelly good in nice fresh clothes" Resident "yes I would" and goes with my daughter.
Any room with a temp of 99 degrees is too hot for anyone, especially an older person. Since he's not particularly cooperative, I would establish a checkup schedule, say every half hour or hour, just to make sure he's safe.
I wouldn't gamble on getting in trouble legally; even if charges weren't pressed, I'm guessing someone, somewhere would contact a news outlet and you'd be publicly shamed.
And the fact that he lives in a trailer on your property would be a major negative factor against you.
Is he putting the heating up too high? Or is it summer & very hot where you live?
Is he hot but too proud to ask to come into your house? Is he welcome to anytime or not really?
Would he like to be cooler but can't afford portable air-con?
What about buying a box fan & suggesting the old way of a wet towel in front of the fan? It would be cheaper & HIS decision when to put the fan.
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