Bill collectors are calling my mother in hospital! My sister has financial power of attorney but it is supposed to kick in when my mom is "incapacitated" - my mom is confused a lot of the time, but is not 100% incapacitated. Do we have to get her doctor to declare her incapacitated?
Last, any tips on how to do this compassionately would be appreciated. We just want to keep the creditors from fleecing her with late charges and higher interest rate tiers kicking in, and we don't want her to have to worry about this.
Do what you have to do. Fib a little, give her some fake stuff to deal with, intercept the mail, have her sign checking account paperwork "Just in case she needs help". But remember, your family is not responsible for her bills or debt. Tell the collectors to F off. Don't agree to anything with them. They are just hired gun-scumbags who get a percentage of the take. Get an attorney if it's really bad and forward all letters and bills to them.
My Dad brought home the paycheck and my Mom was the caretaker of paying all the bills, and keeping a monthly budget. Thus, when Mom passed Dad was totally lost on what to do and I found out by seeing over-due bills in the paper recycling. Say what? I figured at 94 there is no way I am going to teach Dad how to manage the bills, so I gathered up everything and am now doing it myself. And it is consuming a lot of my time, as things weren't filed in the right files, etc.
How to take over the finances from Mom.... just tell Mom that she will have one less thing to worry about, that you will be writing your checks and mailing them out when the bills come in. If you live under another roof then your Mom, have all her mail sent to your house, that way you can see what bills come in.
Bill collectors should not call her in the hospital. Take the phone away so she can get some rest.
Since your mom still likes to be in control perhaps you could offer to "help" her with her bills? Perhaps sit together & do them?
I also had to contact all my dad's creditors (by certified mail) and told them to stop contacting him per the Fair Credit Reporting Act.
The easiest thing would be to talk her into it. No proof of her competence or lack thereof needed, minimal effort for POA after it is set up, and the problem of dunning calls solved.
For heaven's sakes, don't offer to take over her finances! Don't say you are going to pay all her bills. Don't imply she can't take of it herself. Just offer to set things up on the bank's free computer program so she can join the 21st century.