My mom was diagnosed with dementia about 6 months ago and she is aware that she has dementia. She is still able to laugh at herself for her forgetfulness and still has lucid moments where she is able to converse with us normally. But more than 70% of the time, she is telling the same story over and over, asking what day of the week it is about 10 times a day, makes up stories (but believes that the stories really happened) and other regular signs of dementia. I am wondering if there is a time to discuss this with her so that she understands what will happen to her as time goes on (the regression she will incur), not necessarily all the "gory details" but to let her know what is going to happen with her memory as time goes on. How much should we tell her or should we just let her live her life and not burden her with the details of dementia? I am the sole caregiver of both my parents (she is 86 and dad is 90) and they are still in their own home. So if it's to be discussed, I guess I will be the one to do that. Does anyone have suggestions or been through it where they did tell the person about the condition? I would appreciate any input anyone has about this.
I reassured him about his worth and value as a person. We blamed the dementia for his problems. I never talked about his strengths in the past tense. I said, "You have an excellent brain and a very good memory. You graduated from Purdue and you won awards as an engineer. Of course you have a good brain! But right now the dementia isn't letting your good brain work quite right. That's OK. I'll be here to help you when that happens."
IF your mom notices her lapses AND it bothers her, then you can mention the dementia and reassure her that she is safe and loved. "Oh dear. I think I've already told that story. You must think me really dumb." "Mom, you are certainly not dumb and never have been. The disease you have makes your forget things some times. It is OK. We understand. We love you no matter how many times you tell a story."
Allow her to enjoy her lucid moments. She doesn't need to understand what this cruel disease may do to her.