My step-mom keeps getting major sun-downing delusions and as a result has created major problems at the places she has been staying. We are at the point where jt seems we aren’t going to be able to make it work at any memory care what would be the next step from here? Nursing home?
The facility/staff should be experienced with this behavior and know how to deal with it. It's possible she needs medication to help. What do they say at the care conferences? They should be providing input and solutions to you, not kicking her out.
What are the exact behaviors that they say are problematic?
A few nights after she started doing this they shipped her off to the ER. I got a call
from ER social worker who said she’s fine here, we are just going to send her back to the facility. The next day the facility said we are going to have one of our mobile doctors visit and this doctor put her on Ativan, Buspar, Risperidone and Sertraline.
It seemed she had a few good days then it went back to nightly episodes when the sun went down of her trying to smash her way out of the facility convinced they were trying to kill her. One episode we went down there to calm her down and we realized she was convinced that their walkie talkies were guns. I am still not sure if they did anything to try and keep her from getting to these hysterical states - it almost always happens when one particular employee is working the evenings.
After a few nights of this she was sent to the ER again and the head of the facility asked us for permission to have her sent to a psych hospital for a couple weeks to have her evaluated and get her meds adjusted. We agreed to this. However, they didn’t adjust her meds at all for the whole 2 weeks because they said she had no behavioral issues at all for the whole time. This left us baffled.
She was brought back to the memory care from the psych hospital about a week ago and after 1 or 2 days it’s been back to the same routine again. For the last 4 nights we get a call from the same employee and in the background my step mom
is going ballistic convinced they are trying to kill her with guns (their walkie talkies). She’s yelling and screaming and banging on things. We calm her down and then she is okay for the night. they have tried to adjust her meds some to give at different times and it hasn’t helped.
During the 2 week stay my dad and I started looking for another place and did find one which we are moving her to on Thursday. We told them about her sundowning and what’s been going on and are to being her on Thursday but am very nervous about how she will do. And her current medication regimen does
not seem to be working at all.
I can’t explain the stress this has been on my dad and I the last few months. He is dying of cancer and I moved in to caretake him, and all this is going on with my stepmom at the same time. I feel so helpless and hopeless and am barely hanging on.
My LO was seen by a wonderful therapist APPROPRIATELY medicated with small doses of medication(s), and the staff received pertinent recommendations for managing her “conduct”.
She was literally NEVER overdosed, and I was kept “in the loop” as to her behavioral issues, so that I could support her progress during my frequent visits.
Memory care might WELL be best for more supervision and attention.
Good luck- there may be a better solution than “bouncing”.
Is your step-mom being medicated enough during her sun-downing episodes?
If not I would be speaking to her doctor to see what can be done.
And like Geaton said below, memory care facilities are more than used to these behaviors and should be the ones guiding you with what needs to be done to help her.
Double check the light levels in the rooms she was in. It’s called ‘sundowning’ because of late afternoon, but perhaps it really is related to light levels?
Sympathy and best wishes, Margaret
We are moving her somewhere on Thursday so will have to see how she does there. I’m wondering if part of the reason she did better in the ER and psych hospital is because they are actual hospitals and maybe she realizes that and thinks she is there for some reason - but the memory care is a bit more like a hotel or home and she seems to think she is just in the wrong home. I really don’t know, will have more
idea based on what happens at the new place we bring her to on Thursday.
Best of luck.