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My husband is 87 and resents anyone else in the house.

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Can you or someone else take your husband out to lunch while the help is there? Or can you tell him you know someone who is struggling and needs some work and would he mind helping out by letting her come do a bit of cleaning? Could you say a friend from church wants to do some service by helping you out around the house? Whatever works is my philosophy ;-)
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Allalone, when it comes to cleaning, usually one needs to hire a cleaning company. I know the feeling when one person in the household doesn't want "strangers" in the house.

My Mom was that way. She felt offended when I asked her if I could bring in cleaning crew to help her. To me, I would be delighted to have a cleaning company, I would be there holding open the door :)

I agree with Grammyteacher above. There are times when we need to use what is called "theraputic fibs" in order to get something done. I had to use those fibs numerous times.
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