I am trying to engage my mother in conversation over the phone as she is in another state. She doesn't remember recent visits from my sister, often saying that she hasn't seen them in months. I cant correct her as she is adamant. What are good online resources for conversation tips, questions tec?
- If she brings up a subject you can say something like "oh, tell me more about that" or "I know you like xxxxx, what is your favorite thing about it?"
- What was it like growing up?
- What songs did you like when you were younger?
- Tell me the story about when you and dad met (or some other positive event).
As the disease progresses there are fewer questions you can initiate. I often ask things such as "how are you feeling today?" or "what have you been up to lately?" I am not sure the answer to either one will be accurate but it gets my MIL talking and she seems to enjoy that.
At some point you may just need to get used to listening to words which do not make much sense. You are being present, however, whether on the phone or in person. The goal is not to do something that she will remember as that is mostly out of her control. The goal is to help her experience a positive moment in time.
My dad , on the other hand. Never wanted to talk. He loved the Nat'l Geographic channel and loved to have someone just sit with him and watch it. Daddy also frequently asked me to sing to him--there are songs I cannot sing anymore, due to the deep emotions of singing to him. Words were not necessary with us. Men and women are very different in their "needs". My hubby is not in bad health, but is severely depressed and won't treat it. He refers for me to watch TV wiht him (if he's in the mood) and be absolutely silent. When I am with women friends and my sisters, we talk and talk.
"What was the name of your school"? Ask about her parents, siblings.. Did she take family vacations? Or even day trips? Swimming in the summer? Ask her about foods she loved..
Ask anything about herself! They love to talk about themselves!!
Later it'll be a nice reminder album for you.