I'm 25 years old and I lived with my dad, 66 yrs old and grandmother, 89 yrs old. In Nov. my dad passed away and now I'm left to care for my ailing grandma. My healthy dad was her caregiver and he had a lot of stress; one day he went to the emergency and suffered a massive heart attack and I believe it was the stress from caregiving. I'm afraid my health will decline caring for my grandma. I had to put my physical therapy board exam on hold because of everything that has happened. I want to go back to studying so I can start working but my grandma takes up too much of my time. She has memory issues, becomes verbally abusive, needs help to dress, eat and other ADL's. I don't get good quality sleep and have lost weight without even trying. I know the easiest solution is to just send her to a nursing home but deep down inside it hurts to do that to her. I just feel heart broken about my dad and with everything that goes into someone's passing that I just can't continue doing this. I'm not married yet (just recently ended a relationship as well) and don't have any children, I just graduated and have my whole life ahead so I don't want to be bound to staying at home caring for grandma. Any kind words will help during this stressful time.
BUT ...
That doesn't mean the only way or the best way to do this is to care for her at home. Having her in a clean safe place with around-the-clock professionals availale to see to her daily needs frees you up to focus on her emotional needs and on your relationship. with her. You could stop in every day and share your life with her -- and you'd really have a life to share. You could tell her that you are worried about an upcoming test. Then tell her how the test went. You could tell her about a guy who seems interested in you, and ask her about her dating years. You can share your daily life. You can also keep an eye on what is going on in the nursing home and see that she gets the care she needs. She will have other people to interact with, if she cares to. Have breakfast with her once a week. Take her out to lunch. Having her in a NH may be the "easiest" solution, but do not think it is "easy." It still requires your attention and time. It jut isn't the sum total of your life.
I have 3 granddaughters your age. If I had, say, a stroke tomorrow and could no longer live independently, would I want one of them to move in with me and spend her life taking care of me for fou or five years? Good gawd, no way! This is their time to build foundations for their own lives. To finish their formal education, to get started in careers, to try out relationshps and discover one to last a lifetime. Stay home with gramma? No way would I want that for my dear granddaughters. I'd be heartbroken if they simply wrote me out of their lives, but I wouldn't want to be the centerpiece of their daily activity. Your grandmother may no longer be fully in her right mind, but if she were, I'll bet the legacy she'd want to leave is a healthy, active, production granddaughter, on her way to establishing a good foundation for her life.
Lizard is right. You need to find out what options are available for Grandmother.
Good luck to you!
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/grandchildren-caring-for-their-grandparents-149490.htm