I must have knee replacement surgery in the next few months and am sole caregiver for my 87-year-old husband with dementia. He is incapable of caring for himself, let alone caring for me for the 3-4 week period that I will be incapacitated. I don't even know where to begin getting help.
You are going to need good coordination between surgeon and social workers and rehab/PT/OT, so WARN the doc this isn't a matter of your coming in the morning and leaving at noon.
just saying that you may want to be careful and estimate a longer time. others on here who have had knee replacements may comment?
The pain is intense and is the worst pain hands down I have ever experienced. It was worth it though. She will not be able to care for him at all during this time.
She will have to go to physical therapy for 3 months and she will need someone to drive her there for the first 6 weeks. She can’t skip physical therapy— my mom did and she is as bad off a year later as she was before her surgery. The patient cannot skimp on the recovery period or bad things will happen.
Recovery is one year.
If you do that you can take the time you need to rehab either at home or in a rehab facility.
Ask your doctor how long he/she anticipates you being "out of commission". If he says 3 weeks, schedule the Respite Stay for 4 weeks. That gives you some time to adjust to life with your new knee without having to do all that you do for him. Make sure the doctor is fully aware that you are a caregiver and what you do day to day.
If you do not have anything in writing get signed confirmation from your husbands doctor stating that he has to have 24/7 care and can not be left alone. Since it is a medical necessity it might be possible that the cost of his Respite stay could be taken off taxes as a medical expense.
If your husband is on Hospice (or eligible for Hospice) Medicare, Medicaid and other insurance will cover the cost of a Respite stay. Typically about a week but exceptions have been made in some cases.