My mum has Alzheimers & vascular dementia. She has occasionally been delusional (usually telling me a neighbour has been nasty to her) but the past couple of months the delusions are more frequent & nasty, leaving her either really angry or upset. Recently her delusions are mainly about me & our (imagined) arguments but now she's accusing my daughter of stealing money from her. Fortunately, she said it happened while she was out shopping & claimed my daughter walked over and snatched the notes from her then ran away - my mum hasn't done her own shopping for almost 2 years & can't go out alone. So far, we are able to disprove any claim she makes but I'm really worried about the nature of the delusions and if anyone happens to believe her claims. I've found so many answers here & had so much support in the past. Can anyone advise. Thanks.
We have a family friend who was in his 80's who had dementia and delusions. He thought there were children playing in his house and they annoyed him. Nothing persuaded him that there were no children. His family refused to intervene. One day the delusion of the children annoyed him so much that he went out into the street, (something he never did before), fell on the pavement and fractured his hip. It was horrible for him, he went downhill and never did recover.
Of course you are not going to go along with her accusations, but try to avoid arguing with her or reasoning her out of them. "Oh Mother, I know Daughter would not steal from you -- that must have been a bad misunderstanding. To avoid such misunderstandings how about if we don't have Daughter do anything alone with you?" Don't try to convince her that daughter hasn't been alone with her -- only that you are sympathetic and you are going to solve the problem.
Do discuss this with her doctor, although I think delusions are hard to treat medically. And with dementia she might be better served by a specialist rather than a GP.
Also, and I hate to bring this up, persons with dementia can live alone only in the very early stage. It sounds like Mother is at a point of needing in-home care or placement. Are you looking into the future for her?
If it is well documented that she suffers from dementia, then, I would be confident that fact would be known to those she would speak to. I mean, who does she have contact with? The doctor and family. Don't all the people who speak with her know of her delusions? A review of the financial records would disprove her accusations.
I might discuss it with her doctor. Maybe, anxiety is causing this to increase. Perhaps meds could help. And, I might lay off the shopping and other travels if she gets that agitated. Maybe, it's too much stimulation. Patients with those type of disorders sometimes get overloaded with stimuli.