I am caring for my father in law 84yrs. old with dementia, after my mother in law died 6 months ago he became crazy. We have tried all medications. He is nasty, he tries to hit me for no reason, doesn't sleep and no meds are working, I don't know what else to try
1. What kind of dementia does FIL have? (frontotemporal, vascular, Lewy Body, Alzheimer's, etc.)
2. When did the dementia start? Before his wife's death?
3. What kind of doctor is treating the dementia? (GP, Internist, Geriatrician, Geriatric Psychiatrist, Behavioral Neurologist, etc.)
4. Who is selecting the drugs to try?
My husband was treated by the Chair of the Behavioral Neurology department of the Mayo Clinic, who specializes in the kind of dementia my husband had. I learned a few things that may be encouraging for you:
Six months is not enough time to try every possible drug and drug combination that could help. There are just too many drugs and too many variables. That means they may still be drug help for you. (But it may also require the right kind of doctor to find it.)
There is no cure for dementia, but symptoms can be treated and quality of life improved. You need to treat ONE symptom at a time. Our doctor asked us which symptom was most bothersome. I said inability to sleep, and that is what the doctor prescribed for first.
It is essential to try ONE drug at a time, starting at a low dose and gradually increasing the dose until either there are side effects or the therapeutic level is reached. If that drug doesn't work, there is generally something else to try in its place.
Making multiple attempts at finding an effective drug is NOT the sign of an incompetent doctor. Making no attempts or giving up after one attempt might be.
Each human brain is absolutely unique. The same drug that is a miracle for one patient may be a disaster for another patient, even with the same diagnosis.
And here is what I believe: No one should put up with abuse, even if the abuser doesn't know what he is doing and cannot help it. You need to keep yourself out of harm's way. If you need to remove FIL from your house to achieve that, so be it. Perhaps a temporary evaluative stay in a Behavioral Center could get your FIL calm enough to return to your care. Perhaps caring for him in a Memory Care unit of a nursing home would be appropriate. It placing FIL in professional care is necessary, you have not failed. You are just using the tools available to fight this horrific disease.
Please keep us informed of how you and your household are doing.