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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I am sure at one time almost all of use asked ourselves the same question. my siblings, four sisters could care less about my parents health. They never called, refused to help , and never went to parents wake and or funeral. imagine...I call them my X-sisters. but two of them did manage to call me to find out what my parents left them in their will almost a year after they died. that's when my payback came for them. I simply said my parents did and left for you exactly what you did for them NOTHING. I hung up on them and never heard from them again. but it felt good to let them know how I felt in just a few words..
It shouldn't be this complicated and painful, but somehow it so often is. You seem to be the only one with a conscience, and heart. Is the issue that your dad is struggling to care for your mom properly and he's not giving it up? He needs help and isn't accepting it? Let's start from a position that you will not get back-up. Does anyone have your mother's durable PoA? Or for your dad? If you have it, then you have some authority to act on your mom's behalf. If no one has PoA, and your dad won't grant it, then you can engage social services. They can assess them for services and maybe your dad would accept this, if the services they offer will help your mom. Otherwise you can pursue guardianship and bring about help for your mom (and dad). Wishing you peace and help.
Marie18, you posted this same question a few weeks ago, yes? I don’t think you’ll get many more different answers than you got the first time. You may have to call in reinforcements like APS or their doctors to help. APS will assign a caseworker, and as others have said, things move fast with them. Much quicker than you or I could get things done.
You really don't have to wait if someone is in danger. There are ways to intervene. You can seek legal consult with Elder Law attorney for court measures, contact Adult Protective services or even call 911 if things are urgent.
When you say that your siblings "won't speak up" - what are they not speaking up about? Do you mean that they have first hand knowledge of untoward events or problems but refuse to report them, or do you just mean that they won't express their agreement with your point of view?
Your father is determined to keep your mother at home. The home care agency seems to be working well. They reported their concerns to APS, APS investigated, the level of support has been stepped up. This is good, it's what's supposed to happen. APS has investigated, has taken action/made recommendations, care has been increased.
So... what are you wanting anyone to do?
I do appreciate how frustrating and worrying it is when your elderly father is taking on more than he can manage to care for your vulnerable elderly mother. It's incredibly stressful. But to HIM it is better than "abandoning" or "deserting" his sick wife. You're going to have to give him more time.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
They never called, refused to help , and never went to parents wake and or funeral. imagine...I call them my X-sisters.
but two of them did manage to call me to find out what my parents
left them in their will almost a year after they died.
that's when my payback came for them. I simply said my parents
did and left for you exactly what you did for them NOTHING.
I hung up on them and never heard from them again. but it felt good to let them know how I felt in just a few words..
Your father is determined to keep your mother at home.
The home care agency seems to be working well. They reported their concerns to APS, APS investigated, the level of support has been stepped up. This is good, it's what's supposed to happen.
APS has investigated, has taken action/made recommendations, care has been increased.
So... what are you wanting anyone to do?
I do appreciate how frustrating and worrying it is when your elderly father is taking on more than he can manage to care for your vulnerable elderly mother. It's incredibly stressful. But to HIM it is better than "abandoning" or "deserting" his sick wife. You're going to have to give him more time.