My brother was dying of cancer but since in hospice he's dying of starvation and dehydration. Why won't they help him? He was talking and moving before they gave up on his care. He can't drink or eat on his own but there are other ways to get him nutrition and liquids. What's going on? He's at home with his wife.
Hospice relieves the patient of having to feel the full effects of it.
What sort of cancer is your brother fighting?
https://americanhospice.org/caregiving/artificial-nutrition-and-hydration-at-the-end-of-life-beneficial-or-harmful/
My uncle died recently of prostate cancer that had metastasized to his liver and compromised kidney function. Despite having previously made a detailed advance directive he asked for the doctors to "do everything" when he was suddenly admitted to hospital. What followed was 5 weeks of h3ll - surgeries to improve kidney function were unsuccessful, in pain and confused he repeatedly tore out IV's and his catheter and the CPAP mask that he had needed in order to sleep for decades. These interventions did not buy him time, only pain and suffering and caused his family incredible grief. My cousin expressed that she felt regret and deep guilt that she had allowed it to go on so long.
This is not the way to die. My mother did not have cancer but when she was overwhelmed by age and pneumonia she was given sufficient sedation and dilaudid to help ease her final days, THAT is the kind of ending I would recommend.
Since it sounds as if your brother has his faculties, allow your brother the dignity to dictate what happens. Furthermore, he may have been nearing the end-of-life stage when he was placed on hospice. Hospice allows the person to transition into what's needed for comfort and painlessness.
Support your brother and your SIL. Support yourself. I'm sorry your brother--and his family--are going through this.
I'm sure if you ask the hospice nurse they can explain things to you.
When my husband was in his six week dying process, he didn't eat for 41 days,(and never once asked for food) and stopped drinking for about 25 days, before he actually died. That was his body preparing for his final journey.
Your brother is dying, and for that I am sorry, but please let hospice do their job as they are there to help and not hurt.
Praying for God's comfort and peace to be with you in the days and weeks ahead.
It's just what happens in the dying process. Don't get accusatory and make this a more distressing event than it already is.
If your loved ones put you in a nursing home, you won't die in peace. You'll likely suffer oxygen starvation because they can't give you oxygen, you won't receive comfort care medications like the anti-anxiety meds and morphine.
Calling 911 is exactly what you don't do, because the patient is being allowed to die in peace. Racing them to the hospital is counterintuitive to that goal, and yes, it will get you taken off hospice.
I think it would be wiser to educate yourself on what hospice does and doesn't do, and how the dying process works. Hospice care is a godsend.
Artificial hydration, an IV, artificial food, a feeding tube are not administered and hospice will not even take you if you have an IV drip for hydrating.
They exist to provide end of life comfort care NOT life prolonging treatment.
Anything considered treatment or life extending would not be handled by hospice.
They have the choice to call 911 and remove him from hospice and go to the hospital and seek life extending treatment. But they have already made that decision once, would it be fair to put them through that gut wrenching decision again?
Do they really want that?
You should educate yourself about hospice and if the hospice provider is not doing their job find a different provider and fire the current one.
If they are doing their job, which is a very difficult one and deals with death, then please do not create upset at an already devastating time. Your brother is dying and he and his family need comfort and peace, not upset and hysterics.
Keep in mind eating and drinking, feeding tubes etc are what you can SEE.
Cancer will be effecting his body where you CANNOT see. His throat, stomach, kidney, liver, intestines.
It is natural to imagine he would be thirsty or hungry - as you would be if not eating/drinking. But his body may no longer want it or be able to process it.
Ask the Hospice staff to explain if you need more education. They are trained to look at body signs & to ease suffering.
Wanting to hang on to him is a natural feeling 😥 but feeding him will not cure his cancer. Many families panic and try to force feed their relatives in these situations. It does not save them, but causes choking/aspiration.
Maybe rather than thinking of him starving - think of him becoming more peaceful if you can 🕊️
Peace to you & your family.