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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Did this start when he moved in with her? Does she have a family? It is possible that he thinks of her as his little girl and not the person that is caring for him. He may think of her without a family and seeing her with a family it does not fit in his brain with the little girl he "knows". In reality there is no way to know what goes on in the mind of a person with dementia. Have you or your sister asked him who he thinks she is? That might be a clue to why he does not remember her. If he thinks she is his sister from when they were younger, he could think she is his wife from when he first married, he could think .....I could go on and on but there is no way to know. As long as he is respectful to her I would not stress about it. Yes it is sad that he does not know her as a daughter. If however he begins to get violent with her, acting out sexually then it might be time to consider a Memory Care facility unless you can get caregivers in to care for him or you or your brother take him into your homes.
Any guess we could make is a guess. There is honestly no understanding the whys of memory in an elder dealing with dementia. There is so much written about the brain. Oliver Sacks made a lifelong study of this; I recommend all his books. Start with "The Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat". Toward the end of his life he wrote more about dementia and the mind. Those suffering dementia retain long ago memories, or long term memory much longer than short term memory, so the fact that Sis is "right there" may figure in this.
My grandfather had two daughters, four granddaughters, and two sons-in-law and two grandsons. He forgot all the women and both grandsons at the end of his life and only recognized his sons-in-law.
I was visiting him in the hospital one day. My brother had gotten engaged two days before, and I didn't think my grandfather would last long enough to hear the news from my brother a few days later when he planned to visit. I said, "Papa, do you remember Tom?"
(Vague mumbling)
"He's getting married!" (Papa was also very deaf.)
His eyes popped open, he looked straight at me, and said, "WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??"
He died two hours later, but by golly, he remembered people when it really mattered. :-)
The point is, there's no rhyme or reason as to why a mind with dementia remembers one person or forgets another. The best thing you can do is repeat my mantra -- "It is what it is."
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Does she have a family?
It is possible that he thinks of her as his little girl and not the person that is caring for him.
He may think of her without a family and seeing her with a family it does not fit in his brain with the little girl he "knows".
In reality there is no way to know what goes on in the mind of a person with dementia.
Have you or your sister asked him who he thinks she is? That might be a clue to why he does not remember her. If he thinks she is his sister from when they were younger, he could think she is his wife from when he first married, he could think .....I could go on and on but there is no way to know.
As long as he is respectful to her I would not stress about it. Yes it is sad that he does not know her as a daughter.
If however he begins to get violent with her, acting out sexually then it might be time to consider a Memory Care facility unless you can get caregivers in to care for him or you or your brother take him into your homes.
I was visiting him in the hospital one day. My brother had gotten engaged two days before, and I didn't think my grandfather would last long enough to hear the news from my brother a few days later when he planned to visit. I said, "Papa, do you remember Tom?"
(Vague mumbling)
"He's getting married!" (Papa was also very deaf.)
His eyes popped open, he looked straight at me, and said, "WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??"
He died two hours later, but by golly, he remembered people when it really mattered. :-)
The point is, there's no rhyme or reason as to why a mind with dementia remembers one person or forgets another. The best thing you can do is repeat my mantra -- "It is what it is."