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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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she yells at me because i did something for her and sometimes for nothing can i have some advice and because of that she thretens to beat me but no on else an i want to kill myself because of it
1) Walk away. 2) Tell her you don't get to treat me that way. 3) Call 911 if she lays a hand on you/tries to beat you. 4) Be brave, be truth, allow the consquences lie where they will.
This advice is for adults or children. You, and everyone, are worth so much more than to be treated that way. Stop turning your anger in towards yourself, that causes depression and the ideas that you want to die or kill yourself. You don't have to do that to yourself. Do not believe the lies that your messed up mind is telling you, do not believe anything that your mom is telling you about yourself. You are so beloved by a God that cares.
A lot so times older people or those that don't feel well lash out at those closest to them because they're loosing their independence, youth, etc. Unfortunately, this may be the case with you. Do you have any siblings or relatives to confide in? I'd try to get out or distance yourself as much as possible. To keep your sanity while trying to get some outside advise otherwise this could get worse. Also, know you're not alone in your feelings of despair so don't be angry at yourself.
It does not matter why. When 911 comes, or adult protective services, or child protective services, they will get mom the help she needs to stop hurting you, controlling you, blaming you. (Even if she just threatens you).
You do not say how old you are, but try calling child protective services. DO NOT KILL yourself over this. Either get out or go to a friends house and TELL someone.
My husband yells at me all the time and then is sweet as pie to a friend 5 minutes later and then yells at me 5 seconds later. Sometimes he wakes up yelling or snapping. He was NEVER like this as his healthy self. I can take it because I know this is the dementia and not him. Many issues in aging adults appear first as the person irrationally agrivated. Your mom could be in pain, have an infection internally, or some undiagnosed medical condition. Try to question her about her health and snoop in her laundry and garbage to see if she is hiding a medical condition like incontenance or bleeding. Check that she is taking any medications properly, not under or over dosing. For yourself, if you are a caregiver in any way, get into a caregivers support group or some other counseling help because you are definitely not alone. It is important not to lose yourself in your mother's health issues, whatever they may be.
If it is Dementia, then u can't take what she does or says to heart. If she is violent, hitting you, then she needs to be in a nursing facility. This is not a good situation for you. If this is not an Dementia problem, you need help.
BillsLiz, God Love you. I was raised with a father who yelled all the time. Always picked his fights at the dinner table. Lots of times I left the table crying. Other than this, Dad loved and supported us. But, I would never be able to put up with this even though the person has Dementia. It would eventually get to me.
Remember always, it is MOM, not you, who is wrong. You may never know why, or maybe you can learn why from how she was brought up , or you wil find out she is depressed or she is slowly losing capabilities and needs to blame sometihng, anything else rather than face that.
I grew up feeling soooo WRONG all the time until I finally realized Mom was being unreasonable. Even then it was years of having no confidence in myself and feeling totally defective, reawakened when I had to start caring for her and the constant criticism started up again.
To answer your question directly, she does this because the part of her brain that controls rational behavior probably is deteriorating rapidly but the part that controls anger and swearing etc is working just fine as it's the last area to go. As my geriatric doctor told me, expect that any bad behavior your mom exhibited when she was younger will get much worse and sometimes new issues will develop. Please understand that when as a caregiver of anyone very close to you it's so normal to feel depressed, scared,inexperienced, tired and burnt out. On the other hand, it's also normal for those in need of care to lash out at the caregiver around the most. This site is wonderful for support and learning. The downloads helped me way more than what my friends and family were saying, which pretty much scared me to depression. Take time to look after yourself and do something you love and find fun everyday. This will help. Hugs!
The ones who are closest to the elder get treated like the proverbial "chopped liver." And why? I'll tell you why= we are the ones who tell them when to take their meds, when to take a bath, etc.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
2) Tell her you don't get to treat me that way.
3) Call 911 if she lays a hand on you/tries to beat you.
4) Be brave, be truth, allow the consquences lie where they will.
This advice is for adults or children.
You, and everyone, are worth so much more than to be treated that way.
Stop turning your anger in towards yourself, that causes depression and the ideas that you want to die or kill yourself. You don't have to do that to yourself. Do not believe the lies that your messed up mind is telling you, do not believe anything that your mom is telling you about yourself. You are so beloved by a God that cares.
I grew up feeling soooo WRONG all the time until I finally realized Mom was being unreasonable. Even then it was years of having no confidence in myself and feeling totally defective, reawakened when I had to start caring for her and the constant criticism started up again.
Please understand that when as a caregiver of anyone very close to you it's so normal to feel depressed, scared,inexperienced, tired and burnt out. On the other hand, it's also normal for those in need of care to lash out at the caregiver around the most. This site is wonderful for support and learning. The downloads helped me way more than what my friends and family were saying, which pretty much scared me to depression. Take time to look after yourself and do something you love and find fun everyday. This will help. Hugs!
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