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They snoop through every closet, drawer, storage. They eat and steal whatever they want. We used three different agency's in the Minneapolis area Legacy, Senior Home Care, and Carters Care .HHA's from all three thought our home was a free for all, snooping and stealing from closets, drawers,and storage areas all through the house, Eating our groceries and generally being disrespectful by refusing to take off shoes and eating in the living room leaving food messes on the coffee table and floor. M__va from Legacy even watched Pay Per View movies and blamed my dying family member. She was completely incapable of providing safe transfers for my loved one because of her recent knee surgery, she kept dropping him down on the toilet. She emptied the urinal in the bathroom sink, spilled urine on the floor while emptying the cath bag and just dried it up she wouldn't even clean it up properly my family member even had to tell her to wash her hands afterward. She would fall asleep on the job and when my family member would make noises to wake her she would tell him that he didn't have to be smart about it. Even though we complained to the agency they sent her back because they were apparently short staffed. There was no follow up call to see if things were better in fact things got worse as she seemed to be vindictively getting even for the complaint by scratching my dinning room table. Some of the scratches were deep and through the veneer. There was one room in the house that was locked and the woodwork 2 inches above and below the striker plate is completely gouged away. L___beth from Senior Health Care also had trouble emptying the cath bag without spilling on the floor and also refused to clean it up properly she also left the locking closure on the cath bag open several times causing the urine to pool on the bedroom carpet and dribble on the hardwood floors before I realized it was open. I had another hha from Senior Health Care J__et that was sound asleep when I got home. It took her several minutes to wake up even though the security system beeps twice when the door opens and the dogs bark. My loved one has recently passed away. He fought against having strangers coming into our home now I understand why. My experience has convinced me to never have in home health care again. The thefts so far as I can see so far were petty thefts which is why they think they can get away with it. Besides the groceries that they all ate, canned goods were stolen, pie pans, vegetable spray, Tupperware serving tray, lead glass salt & pepper shakers, Tylenol, cough drops, hardcover books, paperback books, a variety of other items that were stored in the bookcase, miniature decorative plate. two baskets were taken from a wall arrangement on my dinning room wall as well as a wall plaque from an arrangement on an upper level bedroom wall.
The one person I will never forgive is E. Carter for not telling me what she already knew which was that my loved one would not make it through the day. I told her for two days I wanted to be with him when he passed. She asked me for his razor before I left for work on valentines day he passed away about two hours later. She told me later that day as we waited for his body to body to be picked up that she likes to shave her clients, comb their hair and clean their nails before they go to the morgue. She always came to the house with two large bags but when she left on valentines day she was having a hard time getting herself and the two bags out the door at the same time. I have suspicions as to why. I don't believe that there is any justifiable excuse for my not being able to have that last moment with my loved one.

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Maybe you are obsessed with all the bad things in the past that can't be fixed. Let them go, past is past. Focus on the happy moments you had with your loved one, or else the dark thoughts take over completely. Redirect and reach for the light.
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No, there is no happy light. My moms att. always brought 2 empty bags that were full by the time she left. I left New York and got to Floriday an hour before she left and her bags were full of heirlooms. I called the police and kicked her butt out of there. Sorry to say, but 90% of them steal. Put a camera in a teddy bear or monitor the home by computer. If you can, pop up here and there an hour before they leave and stay until they do. Hate to sound paranoid but almost all of them rob. Their thinking is that the dead can't use it so they'll put it to better use.
Sad but very true. Now I know I'll hear from the 1 or 2 people that had a good experience. Those must be the same 2 they shuffle around to make it appear all is well.
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Were these aides certified? or interviewed before being hired if they were they are trained well enough to know that sleeping during care is grounds for immediate dismissal. The agency should have dismissed her and you should have used your cell phone to capture her sleeping condition. A patient in the last stages of dying go through obvious behaviors that aids are suppose to attend to & should have would immediately should have called the agency about the residents decline and should have called you. The agency is libel for any damage to your home. Nanny cams even if not functional keep unethical or lazy people on there toes. Before letting anyone in your home a video of the homes condition especially valuables should be documented. You are not obsessive and your issues & concerns and anger are justified. You will have to go through the stages of mourning shock anger denial acceptance and each person in life & loss experiences that. Every person deals with it differently and may get caught up in the anger stage too long. Take part in a bereavement group voice those feelings. When alone let it out cry till exhaustion set in it will get you to the acceptance stage appropriately so you can make unencumbered decisions about your future. Your loved one was very fortunate to have a child who cared enough to provide home health care. Most parents pass in a nursing home. Your parent would want you to be RESILIENT and bounce back quickly.
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This angers me greatly. I have a couple of professional nurses come in and they are fantastic and would never do anything like that, but hesitate when it comes to any other home care. I would need to know the person's full name, where they live etc. If one thing came up missing from my house I would call the police and my attorney, and that agency would be sorry.
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Sorry to hear all of that and that you lost your poor dad. My first thought is if they are stealing, what kind of people are they and how are they treating your dad!! I found hiring from an agency was the worst thing I could do. Most all of the Aides were school drop outs, and couldnt get a job doing anything else . I dodged 4 of them who gave me a gut feeling they were wrong, and sure enough 2 were in the newspaper as stealing a year later. I use the online care website and have found wonderful retired women, or educated college students who were great. I still have one who has been with me over 5 years and the others moved on as mom declined and their lives changed . I have cameras, real and fake, I have a lock on certain doors and I have been ok. I also live here and come home to them and if I saw something out of line once, they would be gone.I have strict rules and a list of what is to be done, and how, and with a smile and with a loving personality! I interviewed many many many for the right ones. For all others, interview your own people regardless of where you get them, go with your gut feelings, and get cameras. Make sure your loved ones are safe and loved in your absence.
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How utterly sad and pathetic it is that human beings would do these kinds of things to people who are already in pain with the situation of their loved one. God is watching.
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As a person who has been on both ends of this situation, as care giver and as a family member of someone who needs 24 hour care, I have to say, this is horrifying. It is also illegal. Not only the individuals, but also the company who hired them, are responsible. I would speak to an elder law attorney, make a detailed list of all your missing items, and then make an official complaint to the company.That may end up in criminal charges to both the caregivers and the company. This is elder abuse!!!! The individuals, as well as the company could have licences revoked, get fines, criminal convictions, incarceration and the company may be forced to reimburse you too.
People who prey on the weak and helpless, give substandard, unsafe care, steal, and are neglectful, as these people did/were, should be held accountable.
Yes, you must grieve and eventually forgive, but you also should hold these people responsible for their actions with your family member. If you don't, they will be assigned to another vulnerable older person, who may not have a family member to protect them.
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Birdsong1...i totally agree. I would hate for these people to move on to some other unsuspecting persons home and do the same thing.
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This is elder abuse. I would start by reporting them to the agency. If you don't get an immediate response from them, I would report them to the state department of health services and the state adult protective services.
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This sounds exactly like the cleaning girl my mother had named Melissa. My mother lived alone until I moved in with her for the last six months of her life. Before that
mother had received a call from Melissa's boss saying "I'm cutting Melissa's hours down from 3 hours to 1 & a half hours." However Melissa never worked 3 hours so when I showed up I got her a boss there and told her Melissa with cheating my mother and she was sadly shocked. Mom didn' care that was being cheated, but I did because no one was going to take advantage of my mother!
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I know this type of thing happens a lot.....more than it should and it's not only sad but scary. I agree, if they will steal, just how well will they be taking care of your loved one. Probably not very well. My only suggestion would to be to make sure the agency you use is certified and bonded. I mean, any house cleaning co. is bonded for just that reason so why not something as important as caring for a human (I mean from stealing or breaking things). The other suggestion would be to do background checks on Agency and aides. We had 2 different ones before we found the right one with my MIL but that was because she didn't care for them. The third one for some reason she bonded really well with and she was wonderful to her. There are good ones out there. As with everything else in the world, you just have to find them. So sorry for your loss.
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Those agencies should have done backround checks. I would make sure nothing of any value is leftin the house. Aides should have a paper u sign showing the hours they were at the house. If they aren't required then u do it. Both the patient and the aid have to sign agreeing the hours there. If these agencies are billing medicare or insurance, report them.
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It's good to put this info out there so others can be aware. And at the same time I agree with Pamstegna, since all of this is in the past and there is no documentation, what is best for you now is to let go and take care of yourself. I think your Dad would probably agree :) Hugs to you and I am sorry for what you went through.
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Watch out for "hold harmless" language in any contracts. Theft is theft is theft.

Why do we make this so unnecessarily difficult on ourselves as a society?
Why is HH work not considered a legitimate profession enough to make sure the people in it are honest, qualified, competent, and paid well enough that it's not a job of last resort.

It seems like this is the same onerous task that finding the right daycare for my babies was. I probably went through 6 or more in-home daycare people before I found some place that didn't give me a bad feeling. And even then, it's a non-stop checking process, showing up randomly, looking for unexplainable signs of trouble, smells, sights, & sounds. Exhausting.

I worry about the paid caregivers to very difficult elders. You can't tell me that having somebody hit, kick, spit, punch, and fight you with dirty names and threats all day doesn't eventually start to affect the quality of care given.
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"I worry about the paid caregivers to very difficult elders. You can't tell me that having somebody hit, kick, spit, punch, and fight you with dirty names and threats all day doesn't eventually start to affect the quality of care given."

I had the same thought last night. It will only get worse when the numbers increase of patients and Medicaid/Medicare goes officially bankrupt.
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Great answer Joann29. I had forgotten that they had to sign how many hours they work. Plus the fact about taking out the valuables, jewelry, etc. My mother NEVER took her jewelry off. It took me telling her that the insurance man needed to check all the stones and to appraise it before I could pry it off of her. She never got it back because we didn't want anything to happen to it. Love this site with all the good advice.
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I had one experience with an agency. The "caregiver" and I use that term loosely. stole from my mother and they didn't even send the same one out all the time. We got whoever they wanted to send and the final straw after I reported the one who stole, we had a no show. I left for work before the person was to arrive and they charged me for the day and a cancellation fee because I didn't call and report the absence. Agencies should be held accountable. I hired an attorney and he told me it was in the fine print in my contract that I had to pay for 30 days for whatever reason I canceled. What a rip off. I wish every unscrupulous agency and "caregiver" instant karma. They are the scum of the earth.
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I'm sure if you threaten to go to the local papers with your experience they'll have the check in the mail lickity split.
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So I guess it's not just SE Michigan and the wicked reprobates are all over the US. Report, report, report them and eventually they will get the message. The state licensing bureau is always a good place to start. If we continue to allow this, what can we expect when we eventually need assistance? Rate this provider online is also a good tool. The Nursing home assoc. here in MI put money into the governor's campaign and now do whatever they wish. We have a duty as citizens to stop this before we are all under their thumb.
Wicked caregiving agencies understand that as family caregivers we also are vulnerable and will take advantage of us as well as our loved ones.
They will reap what they have sown but in the meantime REPORT THEM!
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Learningcurve...i completely agree. Issues need to be reported as high as one can go...newspapers, BBB, whoever. Taking advantage of elders is as despicable as child abuse and should be handled as diligently. Unfortunately the way the world is, elder care is a magnet for many people without a heart or morals just looking for a paycheck. It is definitely our responsibility to pursue those who commit crimes of any kind.
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My mother is in a wonderful NH but she keeps saying things are being stolen. As she has dementia I didn``t think much of it but yesterday she said her pink hoodies were gone. She had two pink hoodies and a purple one which I bought for her last year. Did a quick search and they`re gone.

Last fall I bought her a boom box with big buttons (70 bucks) but she couldn`t manage it. Behind her bed there`s a pile of blankets and comforters and I imagined it had been boxed and put there but it`s likely been lifted. One day this week I`m going down to tear her room apart, find out what`s been stolen and nail the guy who runs the place to the wall!.
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Ashlynne, You may have already done so, but it is a good idea to check the laundry lost and found and make sure her name is in all the clothes. It angers me that people do this and I can't imagine what kind of a loser would want to wear clothing stolen from a senior in a NH! Have you reported the theft of the clothes and boombox to the NH director? The first thing I did when my Mom was in rehab was make it clear to the whole place that I was talking to the NH director nearly on a daily basis...even if just to chat about the activities, etc. Upon checking into the NH, the nurse's desk had me fill out a sheet with a list of my Mom's possessions and the value. If you get anything and you have filled out such a sheet, ask for it back and add the item and it's value to the list, have them give you a copy too. That way there is a record of it if anything gets stolen. Good luck with your room inventory. These places must be held accountable!
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This is one topic and industry that is absolutely one of the most difficult in existence. As a top-notch caregiver myself and with an honest military trained background, I was with a most horrible and truly unbelievable family that I should have never even allowed them to treat me the way they did as a caregiver. But, me being the strong military veteran, I dealt with physical abuse, verbal and mental abuse, 12-15 hour shifts sometimes 6-7 days a week with little to know acknowledgement or compensation. Looking back, I should've called the local Elder Abuse Hotline from the very beginning. I saved their mother's life because she had stroke 4 months after I got their and the family ended up forcing me to care for her as well. The housekeeper (if that's what you want to call her) used to deliberately throw my lunches away and trip me as I walked by holding my patient up so h didn't fall and or run. I witnessed her physically hitting some wonderfully capable female caregivers. There were numerous 12 hour shifts that I couldn't go to the bathroom at all. As an ex-military man, I used to drive home crying and dreaded the 1.5 hour drive to work everyday. I had to work, what was I supposed to do. There were eleven different cameras which I convinced the family to put in because I was tired of other caregivers, that I'd trained an aided in their jobs, of stealing right in front of me. I was one man field hospital for this evil family and I learned so much about life and myself from all of this. So many times they would run out of toilet paper and cleaning supplies so, I'd bring some things from my home mainly so I'd have something to wipe with if I got the chance to the bathroom. As I informed the family occasionally that I had brought in certain items, also on camera, also, I wrote everything down that ever happened over the 27 months I was their. Ultimately, because I had outlasted the family and helped all of them as much as they needed they accused me of stealing toilet paper and cleaner after I had informed them that I'd brought them in because they were out and I needed to clean their father, mother and myself as well. I did wound care, made sure he got all his meds down sometimes up to 5 different times a day. Physical and Speech Therapy everyday, prepared meals, cleaned, vacuumed, made and took him to doctor's appts., repaired his wheelchairs, ordered special equipment through Hospice and the County, ordered his meds, did twice daily wound care, special lotions on his entire body twice daily, walks down the street and to the beach, listened to his wife (as both patients had Alzheimer's and dementia), yell at me for treating him better than her. I won't bother to go on. This is and can be the flip side that can go on as well. Caregivers can be truly amazing and no one may ever know. I made ten dollars with a horribly disrespectful and disrespectable agency as well. My care got broken into three times at their house, stolen once. I did my share of night shifts and my client was awake all night and all day literally running around uncontrollable and without any meds to help his poor brain that was making his mind go crazy. The family refused to give him any medicines to help him be a happier or even a little more relaxed of a person as not a single person would stay working at the house. The entire town knew about this family's disgusting history. But, because they'd a lot of money, the agencies would take them on and they would chew up and spit us caregivers out. I won't go on and on. Please remember that not all caregivers are poor. I will always remember my patients kind heart and the occasional smile. I did my best and can sleep at night knowing that I was honest. My best to everyone as we get older ourselves. May we treat others the exact ways we deserve to be treated and would treat our own loved ones as well.
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Dear VictoryNhonesty, just read this and it is exactly the way I have felt. There are those bad seeds out there. In the case of my mother's facility she has had what I believe is the very best care these exceptional people can give. They are the true heroes. In the case of my in-laws though we had 2 bad caregivers and one was head nurse on the weekend shift at their facility. She ended up getting fired. Later we found out we were the nail in her coffin. Other families had been complaining about her also. The day shift nurse was a wonderful caring person and came to both funerals and this was a large facility. Now that is going above and beyond the call of duty. We did our best to watch out for thievery because we know it's out there but all in all we have had great experiences. I'm sorry for those that don't. Thank you for reminding everyone that there are good ones out there and that you just have to be diligent and stay on top of things and please take meaningful things and put them away. I mean for goodness sake, I do that when I keep my toddler grandsons. God Bless
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Ashlynne, don't forget people with dementia also tend to give things away then later claim the items were stolen... then the person they gave the item to, if that person also has dementia, they will give the gifted item to someone else.
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Yes, my mother was cheated all along by the cleaning girl, but she didn't care because of the social aspect it allowed! But I sure did, because no one was going to cheat my mother!
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Andria, Im so sorry for your loss. I go through the exact same problem with my father's HHA. Snooping..helping herself to things, bringing her child to work .. My family turns a blind eye to our HHAs behavior because as long as Dad is happy. Meanwhile I do not trust her one bit. She is not from an agency. She was referred by a close friend of my brother. She was their HHA. However, my brother's friend did not live in the home. I live with my father. So I see first hand the manipulation that goes on daily. I would never had an uncertified HHA in our home again.
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ALWAYS exchange references - whichever side of the deal you are on. There is room for abuses on both sides. I have a wonderful caregiver for Mother now, an independent, but the agency I hired sent out a thief who stole from us. She even stole my coat! She stole a lamp and probably my husband's ring. I haven't seen ti since she was here. Then when I fired her, the agency kept my $700 deposit and cheated me out of about a week of caregiving as well. Mother told me that the woman was prowling, but I'm innocent and thought Mother was being paranoid - that's until I realized lots of stuff was missing. Put in cameras if you are in doubt.
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God may be watching but I have yet to see Him mete out punishments. Call in the law when you are a victim and keep on them. I am on both sides now, having been a very young caregiver well trained in VA hospital for a donation of 400 HOURS as a teenager. I willingly donated more and set up a singing group which all enjoyed. I am now a semi invalid 71 yr old living two mobile homes away from gloriously married and trained aide I happily call my oldest daughter. My youngest was killed in an auto accident. Her twin is an RN who has myasthenia gravis in another state....BTW I have LUPUS. The healthy one vows she will not get ill. Us sickies both have B+blood type. The well has O+ Do not know the AUTOIMMUNE connection if any to blood type. Hugs to all who are able to care.... Grandma Ellie
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I just spent a few minutes reading all the horror stories on this thread. There's been no discussion , I don't think, of the underlying causes of the problems we see in caregiving, be it in home or in a facility.

In all these companies and agencies there's a clear pecking order of personell. Most are for profit companies with well paid administrators and medical staff at the top level. But the folks who bathe, potty, feed, lift, clothe, and are sometimes abused by our elders and their families are at the very bottom. They may or may not have any training and are at the lowest pay scale of almost any workers in society. With some amazing exceptions that I read about on this site, most of us would not put up with this type of work and pay for one day, much less 8 or 10 hours a day for years.

So is it any wonder that people, usually women, from the lowest socioeconomic level of our society are doing this work. This is not a job that people choose. They didn't stand up in class in the third grade and say, "I want to work with old demented people and empty bed pans".

These jobs are filled by people who in many cases, have no choice. Our society puts very little value on this work. And this is work that's vital to us all. Did you ever notice that during the depths of a recession, when the want adds for jobs are practically non existent, that there's always adds for caregiving? Always. Huge turnover because it's one of the toughest jobs there is.

Now I will get off my soapbox and recognize the real problems people have written about. It's all true, the stealing, sleeping, elder abuse. I mean no disrespect to anyone in this discussion. I used to do tech work for a contractor that serviced several large care facilities and spent lots of time in these places. I saw some of the things described in this thread. People fired for substance abuse, sleeping, stealing, the whole nine yards, and lots of employee turnover. Faces changed everyday. But I was also amazed at how caring and compassionate lots of the caregivers were with their patients and residents. Especially given the job they were doing for the pay they were getting.

Theft, abuse, and all the rest should be reported to the bosses and the police. Hard work at low pay is no excuse for such actions. I truly sympathize with those that have had horrible experiences with paid caregivers. I have no solution to offer. As long as health and eldercare in America is "Profits First", not much is likely to change.
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