Why is my Mother with dementia changing so rapidly?
4 months ago, mom went into home for memory care. It is a really good place and she has a lot of care 24/7. But In four short months, she went from walking okay, a little slow maybe, to needing her hand held, and falling twice already. She is now in pull ups, depends, and needs assistants to be taken to the bathroom every few hours.
She is eating well, thats it. She no longer watches tv, even when its on, and is sleeping 19 hours a day, even while being coaxed to join in events.
She was taken off her Diazepam, to only when needed, to see if it helps her stay awake.
When I call, I say, Hi Mommy, she replies back, Hi mommy. We no longer have any conversation and she shows me she does not understand more than 3 words, when I ask anything or say anything.
Every week, she is falling further down, she is 89 and I feel like she is slipping away so fast. When she first arrived there, so many of the people were worse than her and now she seems like she is passing them up.
What is going on ? Everyone else does not seem to be changing week to week as my mother. I visit 2 to 3 times per week. She knows my name, but I am wondering if she thinks I am one of the workers there, having repeated to me 5 times in 10 minutes,"I already ate. Then repeating, "You don't understand I already ate."
Your feed back is appreciated. My emotions are beyond myself watching my mother decline so fast.
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Right now my mother is having an unusual new symptom of swelling in her legs that isn't responding rapidly to Lasix. She's diabetic, so I'm watching. We're going to the opthamologist today, which was inconvenient -- I couldn't give more Lasix this morning. So many things wrong, with treatment for one thing causing problems somewhere else. I wish she didn't have to take the strong bp medications so we wouldn't have to deal with the leg swelling, but it is the way it is. There has to be a better answer than Lasix, which is hard on the kidneys.
One day maybe they will have a magic pill that fixes everything all at once with no side effects. Dream on. :-)
It is a waiting game, and with that comes a feeling of helplessness especially with people like your mother and mine who are not happy people anyway. Mother's world is getting smaller and smaller. She has not gone out in a trip since last winter and I could see that even going on the patio was not entirely comfortable for her. She has been started in antidepressants and I hope they help her depression. I am not sure there is much more anyone can do. It is different from Alz in many ways. Maybe we should start a vascular dementia thread to compare notes.
My father also had VaD, too. He wasn't diagnosed until after death. He was very similar to my mother, with gradual change over many years with times of rapid decline. I imagine he had small strokes at these times. It is hard that there is no treatment for it, really, except trying to keep the blood pressure and chemistry right. Beyond that, all we can do is wait.
My cousin has VD mixed with AD. She had mild symptoms for a couple of years and then declined rapidly. She went from running her own household, (granted she was quirky) to being unable to stay alone and entering AL within weeks. Then, within months, she was double incontinent and in a wheelchair. A little over a year later and she now has severe dementia. She can talk, but most of the time, she says she doesn't know or she doesn't remember. I can still make her smile sometimes and that's my reward.
A little over a year ago, I moved her to Memory Care and her roommate was very welcoming. She immediately invited her to watch tv together in their room and treated her like she was a long lost sister. Her roommate was very mobile and even spry. She was very personable and a great communicator. Then over the course of a few months she changed rapidly. She started laying on her bed more and more. She stopped talking as much. Then last month, when I took her and my cousin lunch and ice cream, she ate, but didn't say anything. She just stared into space or napped. Something physically happened and I don't know the details, since privacy prevents them telling me, but she went to the hospital by ambulance and is not coming back. I suspect a heart attack and Hospice. I've checked the obits and she's not there yet. My cousin is heartbroken and misses her roommate. There is nothing I can do about it.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. It must be so incredibly difficult. This disease is so cruel. It robs us of so much. Good people who should enjoying their lives are not there in mind. God bless you both.
Guesswho - I had the same issue with my brother - although he lives about 20 miles away he would only see mom twice a month at the most - and at the time she could hold it together pretty well for an hour or so. I saw mom three times a week and I would call him when I saw some alarming things. He never believed me and/or thought I was blowing things out of proportion. Often he would start yelling at me so I stopped calling him. In the past year she had a few occurances while he was visiting - he would call me after his visit as stunned and shocked as if she had grown wings before his eyes and flew around her apartment. I gotta admit I would get off the phone with him feeling quite smug! Brother retired in July and now sees mom a couple of times a week. While he still at times is in denial - he has certainly changed his tune.
People with Alzheimer's progress at different rates. There is no predicting what areas of the brain will be involved and how fast the disease will progress. It is sad to go through this, because I can tell you love your mother a lot.