What is the motivation behind my sister lying about the number of time she calls our parents?
Yesterday, my hubbie and I took my parents to my nephew's birthday party, (my nephew is 35, married, and has a child) my sister 'did' call them, and invited them to. She sent me a text, informing me 'where' and 'what time' . My parents don't drive, and this happened to be at a local Chinese buffet, which happens to be my nephew's favorite restaurant. Normally, everyone pays for their own bill. It's just an opportunity for everyone to be together, without my sister having to cook. It's an ordeal to take my parents anywhere. My mom can't hardly walk any distance, without assistence, due to degeneration in her spine, her bad knees, and she's breathless ON oxygen. She has a cart with a seat that she uses to go any distance. We had her sit on the seat of it, after getting her in the restaurant, and my hubbie pulled her to the room, that was reserved. In the meantime, I'm helping my Dad, who's using his cane, holding on my shoulder with his other hand, while I'm carrying his cushion, he sits on. No one offers to help us except my daughter ( around 20 people there). All my hubbie and I get done doing is running back and forth, carrying food to my parents. My sister, at some point has this side conversation with my hubbie, telling him, that she calls them all the time, and they seem 'out of it' , they don't remember things she's told them. I know she doesn't call them, 'cuz I'm with them almost All the time, and if she calls them, they tell me, because it's a rare happening. It makes me wonder what her motivation is behind lying about this. She barely even talked to me and I don't even LIKE Chinese food! Is this a hint that she's trying to imply that their incompetent?
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First, do you have your parent's POA? if, not do this right away. You can have them drawn up by an attorney or do them online. You will need one for medical and one for financial.
Something similar is happening in my family. A cousin thought it would relieve him of responsibility if he had his father declared with dementia (the father does NOT have Alz.) and placed in a nursing home. Then, my cousin tried to make changes on the will, etc. When I told him that if he already had his dad declared incompetent, he could not make any changes on the POA or wills. You could have heard a pin drop. I think it was God's way of saying, "HAH!"
Instruct your husband to send your sister to you if she has any questions...its seems that she is trying to muster support of some kind. Her sudden "interest" in your parents should be worrisome to you. (the reason that your parents seem "out of it" when your sister calls is that they hear from her so infrequently that they have probably forgotten that they had another daughter!)
Protect them and protect yourself....as if we do not have enough to deal with....
good luck
Lilli
My parents did draw up Poa, and medical Poa, but they listed each other 'first' then put me and my one sister's name for 'both'. Does it make a difference 'who's' name appears 'first', between my sister and I, and what is a durable Poa vs a Poa?
My parents just, I mean JUST put their house In . 'my' name. They didn't want her name on it because they see just how interested she is, in their well-being..so then that makes me wonder if about them feeding the house to me..my goal is to hopefully keep the both of them out of a nh .