…which necessitates my seeing the loafers in person after that. If you are not going to do your job—get out of this industry. #2. I grieved the loss of my mother long ago when she chose her son/my brother over all others; I had to re-parent and nurture myself. So, I don’t need her now nor do I feel close to her.
I do feel fortunate in that I believe the facility she is in, is a good one. It is clean, absent of odor and I have never seen neglect like the nursing home horror stories we have all heard. I just hate constantly staying on them about, why is her head greasy, why is she still in bed, are you seeing to it that her teeth are brushed, she has clothing—why is she in a hospital gown, etc. I feel like a parent and a boss rolled into one. It is just easier to not visit often. I am her Power of Atty and I do A LOT of stuff others are not aware of.
A sensible, functional admonition. I’m sure there are at least 10 applicants at a really high level of competence just waiting to fill each of those slots, hurrying to empty the bedpans at minimum wage.
Oh, wait……
Have they had such a conference with you? And how did it go?
Try to relax, mom can refuse any care that is offered and staff must respect her decision even if she is incapacitated.
Since you have no info in your profile as to what level of needs your mom has some answers might be different.
In the State of Illinois the requirement is that a person be showered 2 times a week. Check your State to determine what the minimum requirement is.
Now a CNA can not "force" a person to shower.
They can not "force" a person to get up out of bed nor can they "force" a person to get dressed.
They can not "force" a person to eat, to join the rest of the residents.
Many staff have ways to get someone to get up, get a shower, get dressed but they may have to leave 1 resistant person and get back to them later.
Rather than emailing and coming off as "*itchy" when you do visit greet the staff, thank them for the care they are giving to all the residents. Smile, say good morning or good afternoon. Say good bye when you leave.
As my Grandma used to say..you catch more flies with honey then vinegar.
When my dad was in care a few years back I was there quite a bit to keep an eye on the care but also to let them know I may show up at any time,
Unfortunately, in a way, I think my dad did get a bit better attention that way, but just the way I found it. Yes, because of that maybe others received less care, though to be honest I tried to keep an eye on other patients in the hall too and tried to make sure they got help. And YES, I know this is not the norm, but much of the time I found aids at the end of a hall playing on their devices. Min wage or not, that is not acceptable and I blame the management for not keeping an eye on that.
The whole industry is a mess. Just finished an old John Grisham book, Camino Winds, that reminded me of the abuse in this industry. Not that the abuse is like that in the Grisham book, but it reminded me of the issues.