Now my mom is being cared for in a place where they have mandatory classes for understanding dementia. The place where she was didn't have any training at all. At least that I know of.
She seems more alert now than she did where she was. Last night was a home visit with her doctor. I went with just in case she had to ask me any questions. The visit went pretty well, I think. She answered the doctor's questions the best that she could. She has a time problem. She fell where she was about 3 months ago, but she thought that was a year ago. No biggie. Her thinking is clearer. Before she couldn't remember her brother's names. Now she can.
I know that she has dementia but I'm not going to "throw her under the bus" like my SIL is doing. She thinks that because she has dementia that she is like a little child. She is 88 and she knows that and she knows when she will be 89. With this group and a Facebook page dealing with dementia only, I have learned a lot.
Just wish that my SIL would keep her grubby little paws off what I did in her room. Well, some things are going to be moved around again on Saturday since I am going to be bringing things to her place for her. Putting pictures up on the walls that she wants. Also, going through some boxes that my brother left there for me to look through. Then her other side table will go in that spot.
Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and I care for her a lot. The SIL hasn't done a thing to help her out in any way shape for form. At mom's previous location, the sil didn't take any pictures of her with her there and I don't know why. She is a person that wants to have people think that she is a "good" person. She isn't if she feels that she can attack me for one reason or another.
I am being simple with this because I want people to know that just because a person has dementia, it all depends on the type of dementia that they have. She has the early stages. We were told by the neuro psych doctor that she could be this way for 10 years or more. She was worse off than she is now. I have seen a lot of improvement since she has moved where she is now. There will be up and downs days.
Life goes on and my mom will do the best that she can. At least now she has people that she can talk to and who will talk to her.
Feeling very proud of her!!!
You don’t have the power to change anyone. Your SIL may be annoying but let it go if you can.
Have you ever tried to speak with her about the issues that are bothering you? How does she respond? If you don’t get a positive response, it’s most likely pointless to continue any further discussions with her.
She is being a total control freak and my brother is too blind to even notice it.
Just a note on SIL. Don’t stress out over what she does or doesn’t do. Unless she is taking things from your mom’s room, just let it be. For all you know,,when they were visiting Mom, she may have asked SIL to move things around and then told you she didn’t. Lots of families dissolve with bad feelings all around when one of its members goes down. Arguments about who did or didn’t do something or do “enough” are common and quite frankly, pointless. My husband’s family did. And, it’s permanent. I will always have bad feelings toward them. Once you say something, you can’t take it back. You do what you need to do to make Mom as comfortable and happy as possible and be content knowing you are a good daughter. Don’t worry about anyone else.