My father in law had to move in with us after we discovered he was being emotionally and physically abused by my husband step mother. My father in law is a retired air force and has va pension and another pension along with his ss check, the mother in law get a ss check at the minimum amount possible. That being said we have asked her for $400.00 dollars in 7 weeks for medication and food and she says that is to much and he will have to do without. They live off of more than my husband and two kids live off of, we have had to completely change our lives to commit to caring for him 24/7. He is a diabetic and has active prostate cancer, he went from 230 lbs to 129lbs in 7 months. We have had him in our home for 7 weeks and he now weighs 156 lbs. she refused him food and constantly threatened him with returning him to the nursing home, she would have fits where she would get so angry with him she would yell for hours and it would result in him being hit with her cane. They have been married 33 years and I am sure she is suffering from some form of mental illness but will not seek help. How do we get some of his money so that we can continue to take care of him and his needs? Any help would be great! Thanks so much!
Is your father competent? How does he feel about the treatment he has received from his wife? Does he want to go home? These are all important questions.
If this was a divorce, then assets would be divided, etc. If competent, he could set up a separate bank account and have his SS, pension, etc direct deposited into that account. But then his wife would probably be out on the street and she could go to an attorney and claim that you are abusing him and misleading him, etc. You don't want to go down that road.
Maybe your dad could take his smallest pension check and set up a separate account in his name and have that one income deposited. Use that money for his costs and to see an attorney.
Be sure that you don't do anything to make it look like you are taking advantage.
Hopefully, others will have suggestions too. Cattails.