My wife, age 74, has early stage dementia. She claims to be easily confused, cannot handle money, and states she has no desire to be intimate with me. However, I have recently discovered evidence of her having risky sexual behaviors with other men, and hoarding money. I am her caregiver, but having medical issues of my own, I occasionally must be absent for periods of time for medical procedures. She resists any other "caregivers" and is still able to drive. Any suggestions?
I would also evaluate her driving. It's always a concern, because it affects her safety as well as others.
I would view this more of a lack of judgment due to her brain dysfunction than an indication of disinterest in you. I would read as much as I can about couples and dementia. Plus, if you are having medical problems, I would locate some help for her. Eventually, she will need constant supervision.
I wondered what types of risky sexual behaviors you've suspected. I wouldn't tolerate that if I were you unless she was in later stages of Alzheimer's. Some spouses forget their mates at that time and may be attracted to someone else around them -- perhaps at a nursing home. We hear about that occasionally. If she is in your home, though, and knows who you are, it is a different matter altogether. I'm just hoping the marriage can still be fixed.