My wife was moved back and forth between her mom and grandmother. She was exposed to terrible things! Her mom shows narcissistic / mean behavior. We really can’t have her living with us. My wife has a very good heart but she is so stressed out, I worry about her. We live in NC but to go to a nursing home she has to have something physically wrong or mental problems. Need guidance please if available. We can’t leave the house for a few days w/o someone staying here.
thank you!!
Being old and not capable of self care will make a person 'NH ready'. You don't have to be physically ill.
In any event, you may want to look into senior apartments in your area that she can afford, or a group home like pamzimmrrt suggested. The trouble is, once you ask an elder to move in, then it can take an act of God to get them OUT. You can always contact an elder care attorney for advice, too.
Good luck!
My husband just went through radiation treatments for his prostate cancer. His cancer had not spread. He also did hormone therapy and has another treatment left to do.
Are you a candidate for surgery? I wish you all the best as you navigate through this stressful situation. You certainly do not need to be a caregiver on top of your own health issues.
I hope that you will find a viable solution soon. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
If MIL ends up in the hospital and then rehab especially have her evaluated for 24/7 care. If its found she needs it, tell them you can no longer care for her and will not allow her to be discharged to your home. U can allow the State to take over. Then ur wife no longer has to be made decisions concerning her Mom.
My late Uncle and godfather had prostate cancer in 2010ish and had it surgically removed. In June 2019, bloodwork was normal and he and my Aunt went on vacation. September 2019, had abdominal pain, bloodwork showed TMs very high and abdominal scan showed inoperable pancreatic tumor (pathology reported as a new pancreatic cancer rather than the original prostate cancer) with multiple mets throughout the body. In November, he passed in the hospital’s hospice surrounded by family and friends.
My mom (69) was diagnosed this year with advanced breast cancer, mets to lungs. She started an AI and CDK 4/6 inhibitor (targeted oral chemo). We hope she responds well to this treatment as it is the least invasive of her options at the moment. I hope the same for your treatment as well.
NHWM, continued prayers for you and your husband. I hope his treatment results in many years of NEAD (No Evidence of Active Disease).
Or - if she continues to live at your house, use her SS and any other income to pay for her medical care/caregiving when you want to go away. Hire some caregivers to fill in some hours each day. Better to use her money for that than to let her save it up or pay for food, rent at your house.