I had been taking care of my mom for about a year, she is now living with me, and I'm the one who is always taking my mom to her doctors appts, she was diagnosed with 1st stage dementia, she is doing real good, she only takes one medication for her memory but that's the only thing she needs to get reminded of, to take her medicine, everything else she remembers real good,I only have one brother, so is only him and me, he got divorced of her second marriage about 9 years ago, and him and his youngest son moved in with my mom when she was living by herself, she had her own house that was paid off, in all those 9 years he never paid rent, nor paid bills or groceries, my brother got married, and now him and his wife live at my mom's house, and still not paying rent, or taxes on the house, the house had been left to both of us on the will, and if my brother wanted to have the house for him, he would have to pay me my part and keep the house, well he wanted the house now but couldn't get the money to pay me, so I asked him if he wanted his part I could give him his part but that would be his inheritance, and he was not going to get anymore money he said yes he would take the money and understood he would not get anymore, so my question is my mom already signed the paperwork so the house is under my name now, and I have the money to give to my brother, but now I'm afraid that he will come back later on asking for more, our attorney said he could not do anything but I'm still concerned, should I ask him to sign a document saying that he is getting his inheritance and accept it and won't come back asking for more money later on after my mom passes? Or should I just give him his money and trust the attorney that he won't be able to do anything? I have POA.
Take care,
Carol
Going on your description of your mother's mental state, she is probably perfectly capable of making a will and leaving her estate to you and your brother in whatever proportions she sees fit. Normally, that would be 50:50, but she is entirely free to please herself.
You are not free to assist her in making decisions about her will. That would be undue influence. Take her to an experienced attorney.
And as has already been pointed out, there is no knowing that your mother will have any estate to leave.
You and your brother are both making a lot of premature assumptions; and you, in pondering how you should treat your mother's money, are usurping an authority you do not have. POA does not override your mother's wishes while your mother is still competent.
Also consider that there may be nothing left to inherit unless your mother is extremely wealthy. Chronic illnesses, and dementia in particular, can be VERY expensive. All of mother's assets may be needed for her care. Do you really want to give your brother your share of the house in exchange for what may turn out to be nothing?
You need help to obtaining a realistic overview of what her life forward maybe like. A social worker maybe able to help you or you could read through the many insightful postings on this website. I suggest that both you and your brother would benefit from a through understanding of what you may face if your mother's dementia progresses. BTW. Does she have Alzheimer's?
Good luck.
A couple of questions I have is: Who is paying the taxes on your mother's house? Who is paying for the utilities, etc.? And is your brother & his wife still living there?
So, you are going to buy your brother's half of the house. The title for the house is already in your name. Does your brother intend to continue living there or is he moving someplace else? If he is planning to stay, are you going to let him live rent-free as he has been doing for the past 9 years or are you going to charge him rent to live there? I am not so sure that what your mother did by signing the house over to you & putting the title in your name before you bought your brother's half of the house was the right thing to do. You should have conducted the "sale" in a legal way----your mother should have put the house in both of your names, and a legal sale could have been done. Then the title would have been changed to your name alone. Transferring ownership of the house to you, and then paying off your brother for his half of the house after-the-fact may not have been the best way to do it. I would draw up a legal document, signed by you, your mother, your brother & 2 witnesses and notarized, stating that the monies paid by you to your brother constitute his inheritance and no further monies will be distributed from your mother's estate upon her death. Just remember that to be a legitimate sale, you have to pay your brother half of what the sale price of the house would be if sold to outsiders. Undercutting the price of the house isn't lawful.
Legally, the house is yours. You brother can't come back & want more money for the house after your mother is gone. However, if your mother is able to make decisions at this time, why don't you take her to an attorney & have a current will made that stipulates the conditions of her assets after her death? If she wants you to have everything, she can put it in the will & it will be a legally binding document. Your brother could challenge it, but he probably won't considering legal fees to do that are quite expensive. The will should read that your brother already received his share of the estate on whatever date he received the money from you, and no further assets will be distributed after your mother's death. It should also include something about the date that the house was signed over to you and full title was taken by you.
Second, a good elder care lawyer should have told you that Medicaid has a FIVE year look back time frame. Which means, that even if this house is in your name, it will have to be sold if she goes into a nursing home.
Your brother shouldn't be getting ANY monies from you at all at this point. If you pay him, and she goes into a nursing home, and medicaid forces the sale of the house (or makes YOU pay them market price for the house), YOU will be out thousands of dollars, NOT your mom. Medicaid will get their money. Final advice, get an elder law attorney and don't give your brother any money at all.
See All Answers