My dad is 83, mom is 81. Dad is rapidly declining in memory/cognitive ability as well as needing assistance physically. Mom also has early dementia. My sister lives with them in a rented house and takes care of them 24/7. Mom helps with dad too, but my sister does most of it. Mom has to bathe and clean dad when he loses bowel control. He is to embarrassed to let sis do it. They are seriously sleep deprived because dad sundowns and tries to get out of bed.he hallucinates and keeps them awake at night. We know he needs a nursing home, but Humana will only pay for one week, after that it is 50.00 per day. The three of them live on 2,400. Per month and at the end of the month there is not even any money for food. They were told they make too much money for Medicaid ..or Medicare . How can they pay for a nursing home for dad and find a place to live for themselves on mom's $610.00 per month which is all she will have to live on if they take dads SS for the NH. someone, please help. We can not get answers from any local senior services. Also, how do I approach a POA for both parents? I live in MA, they live in Fla. My sister can not work and has no income. She tried to get EBTassistance and was declined. There is serious depression going on there bc of the circumstances. How disgusting is it that AMERICAN senior citizens are reduced to living this way. I think growing old in America is sad and my parents are only 18 years older than me! HELP! I send money when possible but it is a bandaid, not a solution.
As for the DPOA, find an elder lawyer to assist you with this. It should not cost you more than $50 in most cases. They may be able to get you in touch with the proper people to assist your parents and sister in FL too.
The first day at the NH for couples is called the "snapshot" day and is fixed, set, finite as far as spend-down on assets. If they have assets, you need to get them spent-down on stuff for their future needs before that day: a prepaid NO CASH VALUE funeral or burial or cremation policy; new glasses or hearing aids OR dental work - these have spotty or no coverage on Medicaid. If your sister needs the car, then I'd look to selling it and getting a newer more inexpensive but more reliable car in mom's name with whatever assets they may have in the spend-down.
NH cost 4K - 15K a month, whatever $ you spend on a elder care attorney to get them qualified will be well worth it. Most law schools have pro-bono clinics that they could go to for help. If it comes out that he needs to do a MIller Trust for the income he is over for Medicaid, you kinda need to find the $ to pay an attorney to structure a Miller Trust for you. It will only be a few hundred dollars for fees to get thousand upon thousands of Medicaid dollars of care in the long run. You have to get out there and ask and ask again to make it work. Call their Council of Government Area Aging program to find meal resources, like Meals on Wheels.
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