I mean just stop and say no, I'm not doing it anymore. The siblings do not help at all... nothing! Should I quit and see if they take over? I know that is wrong but desperation is winning. They don't make visits or help with medication, appointments, food shopping, cooking, bathing, cleaning... NOTHING! What would happen if I just stopped, told them I'm not going back? Is that against the law in any manner? Your thoughts are welcome.
I think, in some situations, NOTHING makes siblings step up if they don't want to. See if you can get help for these folks from your local Dept of Aging resources. Then there will be less work all around? And maybe siblings will stop being afraid that if they start to help they'll end up like you, in your situation? :)
Now that I've said all that, I'll tell you that I declared "I quit" to my sibling (only other one that cares, older bro) recently, and it would seem he's sort of listening. He's taken my dad and has kept him for a few weeks now, giving me a break. So… maybe if you say that you quit, you get respite, at least. :)
if possible, care for one elder, when she passes do your best with the other one. im living it and feel pretty good about myself.
they may play hero for a while but this gig is about endurance. its pretty complicated and ever regressing and most people just dont have it in them. finances and availability are the problem for many but crappy priorities for many more. my sis and niece were PAID for helping and couldnt hang. frankly they didnt have the skill required , in hindsight.
im getting pizzed in remembering them showing up at 11;00 am on monday mornings to relieve me for work. on what planet does one show up for work just whenever they by god get there?
k###s m& a## m(&*$%f&&&er#
Expecting others to do as much as you do may seem fair, and I once felt that way, but I see the other side of the coin. Let me draw an analogy. Two siblings earn the same income, the first has strong beliefs and donates 50% to charity! the second does not and chooses to invest in luxuries and retirement. Does the first sibling have the right to demand the second contribute more?
Your siblings are unfair, and no doubt you are doing the morally superior thing, however, I do not think it is a battle you can win if you define victory as changing someone else's behavior. Define victory as changing the situation instead.
"Quiting" will only lower you to their standard.
At least if you quit either they help out or not then you will know where you stand with them and if you decide to take this journey on your own at least you are doing the right thing and they are nothing but selfish pigs.
Have you considered AL if you cant cope then a home is the only solution i just cant think of any solutions to my problems now or later than mum goes into a home I cannot do this alone its just not fair. she brought us all up and did her best for us with little money and now noone wants to look after her when she needs us?
I hate them and will find it hard to forgive them when mum dies theyve no idea how hard this is.
Yep if i were you id quit even for awhile and see what happens?
Good Luck and take care of you!
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