In hospital right now with heart problems and the director of community is telling me I can’t stay overnight. I need to find where all her unpaid bills are placed and checkbook etc. It’s urgent all her affairs are taken care of and I would probably need a couple days to find everything and get everything taken care of. Plus she is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
Look at the community regulations and see what exactly the rules are and if there is any way that you can get approval from the HOA or Board if this is a situation where she needs care. They may allow it on a temporary basis.
But if it is on a temporary basis you need to use the time to figure out a long term plan.
1. Will she stay there with a caregiver that can remain with her?
2. She could move out and into a Memory Care facility. (does she own or rent?)
I would imagine you could stay there while you are searching for documents and "cleaning" out items. But if management comes knocking maybe a tearful explanation might help hold them off a bit.
I'm surprised the community doesn't have "guest suites" for residents' visiting families though - nothing like that available? If not, you'll just have to find the nearest hotel.
I guess u realize that Mom may not be able to return home? I would think there is something in the Communities contract that allows a caregiver to live in the house.
Given the current environment, where it is impossible to evict people, I understand the director being particularly careful.
Once you're in, it will be harder for them to get you out. Provided you have your mother's keys, of course. They can tell you no (if you ask) and they can leave a warning note on your car if you overstay your welcome (and they actually check) but they're unlikely to go to the trouble of bringing in the authorities to get you out.
I live in one of those communities. People skirt the rules all the time, especially for caregiving purposes, house-sitting or pet-sitting situations. As long as there's no trouble, nobody gets worked up about it.
When prepping it for sale, a question from the realtor came up. If one person buying it was 55+ but the spouse wasn't, what would the ruling be. I did ask, and they indicated they could be 'grandfathered' in. Not sure what would happen should the 55+ person pass away before the spouse hit 55... But, that would be on the buyers to check out and ensure, IMO.
Why they won't allow you to stay overnight to gather paperwork, documents, watch over the place, etc is baffling. How would that be any different than coming to stay with her for a short visit? Have you asked why? Could they not hear you out and grant you a brief stay, documented with an exit date? I should think if you are allowed to stay it should only take a few days to gather what you need.
Perhaps they think you are just prepping to move in - if they are unreasonable, I would ask for a copy of the signed contract (as POA they should grant this) and if there are questions, have an EC atty review it with you.
OP, speak with the manager again and have your mother’s admission ppwk with you to share with her. I think the community not allowing you to stay overnight under these circumstances is unreasonable. I understand those communities have rules but that one prohibiting you her daughter from staying there temporarily is ridiculous.
People living in over 50 communities are allowed to have overnight guests and visitors like any normal person even a week or two during the year.
Especially so in emergency situations.
Just ignore the person and do what is needed to be done.