New and bigger problems developing, didn't think I would be writing you so soon again. My husband, 7 months into memory care AL is having periods of extreme aggression, cursing, striking out and has trouble with toileting. I was told yesterday he needs more care with more staff and needs to move up into the actual nursing home area of memory care. I have seen changes but when I visit I only see no cursing, loving me and saying he is so happy I am with him, etc. he does act strange at times and I am not doubting their claims. They have increased some meds and is sleeping better but the aggression is increasing. I am wondering (he will have more staff days, nights and weekends but why can't they control him with more meds where he is at? I feel they may increase them at the new place, why can't he avoid another move? I toured the new place and saw some noise and activity there..he would have more people caring for him and the same ones not a daily change of staff. He would not move again, some residents look way beyond him, would this accelerate his condition (Alzheimer's)? I have searched every bit of my soul and I know I cannot care for him myself. Home care round the clock is as expensive and I can't imagine someone else always being in our home. Now comes the clincher. This new place costs $10,000/month. I know am paying $7000/month and worry how long that can continue. If he can't have medication control where he is he will have to move (the new place is within the same establishment) but still a move. I wonder if I could find another less expensive place but probably not and will be looking into that I guess. I am upset and not knowing the best...bringing him home might be best but I know, what will happen to me, which is why I had to place him to begin with. I love him very much and it hurts to think he might have to adjust once more, etc. Has anyone had to do this and what is the,best answer here? I never thought I would ask for him to get more medications,but now I feel if it might avoid a change, why won't that work. I am requesting another meeting after this weekend but just don't want him moved again if possible. Am I wrong to feel that paying $7000/ month that I am entitled to having him cared for there anyway that works , i.e. more meds,or something. I asked,if I might stay with him overnight sometimes but they don't permit that. No Medicare, insurance, any assistance seems to be there and I don't qualify for Medicaid yet but even if I did, they don't accept Medicaid there.
