I promised a dear friend of mine that I would ask a question for her. "Gloria" is 92 and has 2 sons. Her 1st born son has always been a blessing to her & all the people he comes in contact with, son #2 is more the selfish type. When Gloria made her will many years ago, she left everything equally divided between the sons. As the years have passed, she has regrets of not leaving more to #1 son since he helps her so much, very supportive & kind. Son #2 is very noisy about her estate and even demands to see her legal documents from time to time. Gloria has considered having her will redone but is afraid it will cause an uproar with son #2 if he found out about it. Gloria spoke to son #1 about wishing to leave him more of her estate and he suggested she sign a Promissory Note for the amount she wishes to leave him and that way she would not have to redo her will. She wouldn't actually borrow the money from son #1 but son #2 wouldn't know about the Promissory Note until after her death. Would that be a good way to deal with leaving son #1 more money without having to redo her will? Please let me know what you think so I can tell Gloria. Thanks!
Having said that, assuming that Gloria is a consenting adult of sound mind, she is free to make a new will leaving her estate as she sees fit and to keep her will private. She does not have to inform anyone of its contents, she does not have to inform anyone that she has even made a will of any sort. She must, however, get the job wrapped up tightly by a specialist lawyer who understands there is a possibility of its validity being challenged and can take that into account in the drafting.
I am in favor of paying/rewarding him now.
She could just as well leave all her estate to the SPCA if she chose.
I am also in favor of freeing up her estate to increase the quality and enjoyment of her own life now. I have now observed several elderlies with so much tied up for the heirs, that they are currently living as a pauper and at the mercy of their greedy adult children.
There needs to be a better solution, imo.
She needs a new will.
What if the non-caring son shows up at Gloria's doorstep wanting to be a caregiver and is serious at that, with no hidden motives. Then what? Gloria may be at a point where she is unable to change the Will back to sharing equity due to memory loss.
We all hope we can live comfortably for the rest of our lives and pass on peacefully in our sleep at home. Thus giving equity to our heirs. This not always happens. Oh how we wish we all could have crystal balls to see our parent's future so we can plan ahead.
Gloria may find herself in Assisted Living/Memory Care or in a Nursing Home self-paying for the cost because having care at home was just too exhausting for the sons, and too expensive for 3 shifts of caregivers.
Thus, I have always felt each grown child should be treated equal, of course unless one child had disappeared for years on end by their own accord. It is recommended in that case to leave at least $1 dollar so that if that disappeared child should show up, he/she can't prove they were left out of the Will.
Farm jelly has it right, show son #2 the old will. How cheeky of him!