Here is an outline of the situation:
In June of 2014 I sold my house in CT and decided to pay my mother and Ron, her husband, a visit in CA as I hadn't seen them for years. My mother was just short of 94 at the time and had advanced dementia, requiring 24-hour care. This was provided by Ron, assisted by caregivers. They came for 3 hours in the morning and for 2 hours in the afternoon. Perhaps I should mention here that since it was not necessary to probate either will because there is no executor. I am the eldest child, and have provided at least 99% of the care my mother received, not counting the caregivers. My brother and his wife contributed virtually nothing.
In August of 2014 Ron suffered a moderately serious stroke, which required that he stay in a nursing home. Since they couldn't afford round the clock care for Mother, I told him that I would stay as long as they needed me to provide that care, with the assistance of the caregivers.
The subject of compensation was never discussed. I was already getting room and board. Perhaps I should mention that Ron told me in an email shortly before I left CT that he would not charge me for the extra room he had available. I still have this email. In addition, shortly after I arrived in CA, he told me that he would be happy to pay for my meals. There is no record of this conversation.
Ron died 2/8/15, at home in hospice. I continued to look after my mother until her death on 12/24/16.
Both my mother and Ron had assets, and I have received a significant inheritance. The reason for my question is that my brother and his wife are creating problems with the assets of mother's estate, and I would like to have some form of leverage over them to persuade them to stop making waves. I won't go into details on this as I don't think they are relevant, but if they are I can provide them.
I know that 24-hour care from an agency goes for about $21 per hour where they live. If I were to charge her estate only $5 per hour the estate would owe me about $80,000, which greatly exceeds the assets remaining in the estate. I believe that a claim of this sort, being for services rendered, would have priority over an inheritance.
Any thoughts?
CRW
But this illustrates a point many of us make over and over. Family members should be compensated for caregiving WHILE they are caregiving, not deferred until after the care receiver dies. And there should be a written care contract.
I should add, there is always the possibility of suing the estate if you want to take it that far, but you will need to proceed with that quickly if you chose to take that route.
There are worse things than not getting an inheritance. I think one of them might be family fighting over an inheritance.
Assets cannot be distributed until the Probate Judge gives the final ok, and Probate taxes a paid [if any]. Quickly get yourself an Elder Law Attorney to correct this situation.
As for getting paid after-the-fact, that is rarely done. It's like doing volunteer work and asking later on to be paid for the past few years. Please note that the majority of adult children do not get paid for taking care of their parent(s).
My heartfelt sympathy for the lost of your Mom and Step-Father.
Too late for any compensation now. There would have been needed some sort of Agreement, memo of understanding or Promissory note btw each of them & you done prior to their death. And probably notarized and with witnesses.
I have a ? for you....... You mention getting a "significant"inheritance. So just how was this done if there has not been probate opened???? Sunnygirl has this same ?! If there were valid wills for each of them, within the will someone was named executor and probate could be opened. If the named executor predeceased them, then court probably would have named someone & estate done as a dependent administration - this is commonly done. If there's assets, they need a legal way to be distributed.
So just how did you manage to get the inheritance?
If 80k left, it was likely over $ 100,000.00. Perhaps over $ 200,000.00? More?
If the "significant" inheritance was gotten due to beneficiary designation OR co-ownership on their accounts (like all Ron's & your moms bank or brokerage accounts were all done POD to you) or any other paperwork and this was done since you moved in with them, and you used your DPOA to do this, well Bulletbobb, it looks suspect. Very, VERY suspect. Like a case for APS suspect. You wrote you hadn't seen them for years till you moved in with them in 2014 after you sold your home in another state & then after they die, you get all and without probate...... Just reads to be hinky.
If Ron died in 2015 w/assets, probate could have been opened. There was over a year between his death & your moms in 2016. He had a will, why no probate?
If there was "significant inheritance" why wasn't the $ used to pay for your moms care? You say there "wasn't $ to pay for around the clock care" for your mom, so you stayed to be a caregiver. 99% caregiver. It doesn't add up. Yeah totally your brother and anyone else that could be a heir would be questioning what has happened.
You need an atty and one that does litigation.
Stop spending the 80k left like today would also be my suggestion and plan that "significant" will be transferred to your brother and any heirs that could have gotten a distribution from your stepfathers estate (as he died first). Since you didnt open probate on him, I'd bet that - if his state law allows - ANY of his possible heirs could go for a lineal heirship (so his $ does not go to your mom 100%). This could get quite ugly and expensive as its all litigation. Just a thought but since Ron was on hospice, if need be, all those numerous hospice staff could be deposed to give their viewpoint on you and your role in the elders life. Ditto for their neighbors, etc. Not to sound harsh, but your short post comes across with you painting yourself as a bit of a martyr...... and someone (or 2 or 3) is really REALLY not going to like you and their depositions will not be to your benefit.
Get an atty, avoid the tsunami & give them their share.
You probably do need an attorney.
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