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Hello all first time posting here.


I am new caregiver provider for the state and I just had a few questions on what is an isn’t acceptable with relationships with clients.


My current client is someone that was referred to me by a family member but also someone who I had no relationship with before I became their provider. She’s a really nice funny lady and I genuinely enjoy being a caregiver for her. I'm mostly just responsible for buying her groceries and household items and doing maintenance and yard work around the house for her.


She doesn’t really have family in the state and friends to hang out with so I was thinking of maybe inviting her to go out for lunch or dinner sometime off the clock so I don’t take advantage of hours on the clock when I’m supposed to be actually working


Is this an unprofessional or unethical thing to do with your client?

I'm thinking you shouldn't get that close because people, family, friends might think you are up to something. And if something goes missing, or gets lost you would be the first one accused.

So keep it professional
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Are you a straight guy? Def no.

Even if you're not, still...no.

Your ages aren't mention but still... no.

My husband and I have had our own business with employees for 38+ years. One rule we regretted breaking: never hire friends or relatives. And by never I mean actually never. Even though this person isn't *yet* a friend, any after-hours relationship blurs a line. If I were that woman's PoA or family member, I wouldn't like it. You need to keep your reputation "beyond reproach". If they need to let you go for some reason (like financial or schedule) it wil make it way harder for them to do so. Or, if you wanted to move on, you're already a referral from a family member.

You work for the state, maybe also read your contact.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Bless your big heart, but I wouldn’t, especially as you work for the state.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Your intentions may be good but no, do not cross that line. Not now. Not ever.
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Reply to Sha1911
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I wouldn’t mix business with friendship. It’s too risky.

Some people are able to pull this off and it’s great. Others say that they regret mixing business and pleasure because it doesn’t work out for a variety of reasons.

Why don’t you tell her about activities that are provided by your local senior community center?

The senior centers in my area do all sorts of things. She could make friends with people close to her own age who have similar interests.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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Unprofessional and unethical.
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Reply to sp196902
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I thought about ‘things that make you go Hmmm’. Then I thought well if you genuinely enjoy her company, why not do that as a friend, and find another carer client to work for on a more formal basis. Then I thought, no, you wouldn’t have enough in common to be a friend, if you weren’t already spending time with her on a caring basis. This immediately made it clearer to me that this only works if you really are blurring the line between work and friendship – which is where the risks are, financially and relationship-wise. Pity, but probably no.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Anxietynacy Jun 15, 2024
That was my feeling also
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You are her staff. She is your client.
Stay in the professional lane.

Staff that cross the line, get viewed as 'true friends' by the client & are then left distraught when that staff member leaves for a new job (& all staff eventually do).

Your time with her can be very valued. But if you becomes her whole world, that can minimise her social world - rather than expand it.

If your client is lonely, see how you can help her connect to others in her communtiy. To add acquaintences & possibly real friends also to her circle.

PS I was told this by an experienced Disability Support Worker, but think it also applies to working with elderly clients, or anyone that need a little 'social engineering' to connect them into society. That can be a truly wonderful way to support someone.
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Reply to Beatty
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You should keep the relationship cordial and professional right now. The lines should not be blurred.

But I have to add that one of my parents' caregivers who I especially liked is now one of my best friends. When I come to NY to help with my parents I always call her and we go out for a few drinks.

This friendship is one of the silver linings that came from an extremely difficult situation.
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Reply to Hothouseflower
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Just a thought. I see no reason to maybe bring lunch and sit down with her to eat it. Bring her a treat. I am a baker so sure I would be bringing her cookies. Some flowers. But like any work day, thats where you stop. No giving her your phone number. Once off the clock, your off the clock.

I worked for the Visiting Nurses as a secretary. My boss said that our nurses didn't just go in the clients homes to carry out a doctor's order, but to realize they may be the only person they see that day so sit and talk a little.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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