My 83 year old dad has been on hospice since October 2011. He had a 2nd major stroke in Feb of 2011. He was left with left side weakness, and needed a peg tube. He has declined so much and I can't help feeling like I rushed in with hospice. I feel like maybe there was more to do to help him. I know it has been 11 months and why am I just thinking about this? Hospice has really been a big help with the nurses and CNAs that help with his bathing, meds, diapers and all. My parents were unable to get any more therapy or home health and hospice offered help for them and of course us that care for him. I keep telling myself that the Dr. would not have signed him off to hospice if he had thought he would get better. Would he? I see my dad losing so much weight, we are unable to move him because his legs have contracted to bending at the knees. He is now on morphine and hydrocordone. He has a catheter because he is getting bedsores that we cannot keep up with...I feel and my mom constantly tells me that we are just watching him die. I know hospice is there to make you comfortable and I guess since he has declined so much, especially these last couple of months, that this constant question is with me...Could I have done more, why did I settle for hospice so soon? I feel so guilty watching him die this slow and very painful death.
I can't imagine what else you could have done for your Father. You are loving and thoughtful daughter going through the painful experience of watching the end of a life. Don't be so hard on yourself!
Be thankful you are there for your Mother and Father at this time of their life. God bless!