Who has done this and can you give first hand experience? I've thought about it but my mom has refused to talk to any help in the past (meals on wheels, elder care mgr, etc). She fired in-home care after 3 weeks and refuses all help or assistance. She refuses AL. I wonder what will happen with APS if they were called in, will they help as in consult or will this turn into fiasco where we might lose all autonomy to have input on care plan?
I was repeatedly told by others that unless HE wanted to be in a NH that I could not make him go and he was free to leave if he wanted at any time. I had drs telling me he couldn't be alone and we could not afford anyone to come in home. I even had a nurse at a behavioral health wing of the hospital tell me this: people think you can just drop someone off at a nursing home but this simply isn't true. The law states that you cannot force someone to go into a nursing home or AL. I was so frustrated because my father was resistant to even being in the hospital even though he was bruised all over his body from falling and trying to get himself up. He had scrapes and carpet burns. My saving grace was adult protective services whom someone had called anonymously (most likely one of his doctors). They called me and said that he could no longer be allowed to live alone and needed to have his meds given each day. They left it up to me as to how to do that but they made it clear that if I did not take care of him that I would be considered to be committing elder abuse and would be liable. APS had my father evaluated by the drs on staff at the behavioral health center and declared him incompetent. This then put him under my authority because of the medical POA. I was able to place him in a NH near me. He continually asks to leave but I don't have to worry that he is lying around on the floor anymore- YAY! The nurse that kept telling me that didn't say much after that. APS were the ones that stepped in and saved the day. If this hadn't happened I was looking a costly competency hearing with lawyers fees etc. I did not get DPOA until later after he got into the NH. I was so grateful for APS but that is because they assisted me in something I was already trying to do. If you aren't prepared for that it could turn out differently because they would force you to do something you hadn't planned on but for me they were an answer to prayer. hope this helps. best of luck to you.
Good advice given already. Get your ducks in a row for sure. Read up on your area's APS website about what they look for and what constitutes elder abuse. Elder abuse is what they are intended to focus on and while this involves a patient's safety, the investigation is centered upon both the elder and their caregiver(s).
And if you do decide to call in anonymously but are the primary caregiver, be very aware that YOU will be under very close scrutiny thereafter.
I am going through this right now and I'll give details shortly, Right now my step daughter from my first marriage is on her way over to help me change my mom. She just became an RN, too, and we are still close and good friends. I am grateful for her help!
But one more thing to add right now: it depends a lot on the caseworker assigned, I think, as to how much help or interference or even misinterpretation you have in dealings with APS. Don't think of them as an ally, though, unless they become that on their own. Otherwise, regard them warily as they are looking for any sign that the elder is being abused or neglected which implicates the caregiver.
All in all amazingly she is mostly good and managing. IMO it could be better and I would love her to have better quality of life, but she insists she likes things they way they are and adamantly tells me to stay out of her business. She writes checks and basically appears to manage her affairs. Sometimes she is crazy talk on the phone or when I visit and that is when I panic and want to call APS. Her primary care physician sympathizes with me but says at this point we have to wait til next imminent event health, police, or otherwise and he will write letter then. So at this point I sit tight.
I always envisioned APS as being a help and I think they are for some cases, especially for children...but not so much for elderly unless there is abuse, or blatant disorder in the living conditions.
So I remind myself that I am respecting her rights even if it is not "my way". PS I live 6 hrs away and work full time in a travel job. My sib has chosen to be out of the picture though he emotionally supports me and is a loving brother. He advises against APS.
See All Answers