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I am posting this in burnout as this is as stressful as it was when she lived with me. So I moved my mother to an ALF about a year and a half ago. Her funds are not lasting as long as I planned out. To keep her there I'd have to chip in $1k a month, which is a lot. In addition, it is getting tougher and tougher for her to walk to the dining room which they require and she is not capable of managing a wheelchair.


She does not qualify for Medicaid, she's just above the limits in our state.


Did anyone take their parent back in? I just do not think I can do that, again.


I was going to consult a lawyer as I read it may be possible to put her SS and/or pension into a trust to be used towards her care but it would also put her at the income level to qualify for Medicaid and then I could move her to a nursing home.


Any advice, recommendations would be appreciated.

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Yes. We have applied for a Medicaid Waiver and my husband will have to put the “excess” of his income into a Qualified Income Trust, aka a Miller Trust. It’s funny to me that we don’t have enough money to pay our bills but are “too rich” to qualify for Medicaid. People recommend on this site to see an Elder Law Attorney and I think it would be quicker and easier to do just that.

You have have options other than bringing Mom back to your home, especially if it didn’t work out before. Make sure this time, when you choose a facility, you ask her doctor what they feel Mom’s prognosis is. Does she have dementia and might require Memory Care? Then, the facility you chose should also have a Memory Care Unit attached.

Butnfirst, do as you planned and see an attorney who specializes in Medicaid.
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Ahmijoy, thank you. That is what I had read about, the Miller Trust. The attorney that drew up the POA handles elder law also, so my plan was to meet with them.

I did have her assessed before she was placed in the assisted living facility, that is mandatory. So it is not that she wasn't placed properly, she has just deteriorated, and at the time it was determined she didn't need to be in a NH. In addition, we live in a pay down state for medicaid. Basically she has to exhaust her savings before we could do the trust.

Thanks again.
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Ahmijoy, thank you. That is what I had read about, the Miller Trust. The attorney that drew up the POA handles elder law also, so my plan was to meet with them.

I did have her assessed before she was placed in the assisted living facility, that is mandatory. So it is not that she wasn't placed properly, she has just deteriorated, and at the time it was determined she didn't need to be in a NH. In addition, we live in a pay down state for medicaid. Basically she has to exhaust her savings before we could do the trust.

Thanks again.
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Do Memory cares except Medicaid? If not, they will probably cost more.

From what you post Mom really needs 24/7 care. I think a lawyer versed in Medicaid would be a good idea. Some states have a Miller trust where the overage can be put there every month. I think it reverts to Medicaid upon death.
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Hi JoAnn, agree she needs the 24/7 now (it was different when I first moved her to ALF). I will have to look for medicaid facilities that fit her needs. She doesn't need memory care.
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I understand. To tell the truth, my mother probably would have qualified for AL when I was first looking at facilities, but there were none close by. The only one was more like a resort than a facility with a price to match. Mom was always a paranoid recluse and that would have been a big waste of money to put her there.

This Medicaid Waiver thing is very confusing and I wish I’d enlisted the help of an attorney.

Good luck. I hope it all works out for you and Mom.
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anonymous594015 Sep 2018
If you think an attorney is too pricey, you might check into hiring an Aging Life Specialist for a few hours. They won't give financial advice but they can have lots of advice about the process. I honestly don't think we could have completed the application without our Social Worker. And she charged WAY less than the lawyer was going to charge to help us file the application, once the finances were set up.
The woman we hired charges by the hour- no minimum or contract. I found her name on this website. https://www.aginglifecare.org/
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Some MC facilities accept Medicaid, but it's limited. I would strongly suggest you see an Elder Care Lawyer who specifically specializes in Medicaid. There are ways for Medicaid to pay, but there will likely be a waiting time once you apply. There are calculations and strategies for this, but each case is different. The sooner you see a ECL, the better.
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I'd get all the information and advice from the professionals. I learned that sometimes, I was told things were a certain way and then later, I discovered that things were a little different, because, my LO's situation was different. And, laws and resources vary by state. In my state, there were state funds to help those who qualified by need (doctor's form) and financially for AL and MC. I also found that people who are disabled or who have dementia may qualify for benefits that others don't. And, that if someone needs a special care unit, like dementia, they may have a higher income threshold than for a regular AL So, there are many things that could come into play. So, I'd get a professional to actually make sure of the situation, before giving up on her qualifying.
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Hi there, so very sorry you are dealing with this.
while I do not have this exact experience, I would strongly suggest you do as you said and seek the advice of an elder care attorney and see what all your options are.
not judging your situation or relationship with your mom, but I would make bringing her back to your house the absolute LAST resort, I do know how it is to be in the situation where you don’t have enough to make it, but just enough not to qualify for help...
sorry I don’t have more helpful info but I think you are on he right path to find out, keep us posted
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The other thing you may want to think about is putting your mom in a long term care facility -- Skilled Nursing Facility -- they operate differently than Assisted Living and Medicaid works a little differently. Just a thought.
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Yes, consult an eldercare lawyer. There may be options. There is something called “pooled income trust” that might help. But there are downsides.
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Another thought: I didn't know this be Medicare covers the cost of in-home visits (at least that's what I was told). Besides consulting an Elder Law Attorney about your Medicaid options (which do exist), see if your mom's Medicare will pay for in home visits should she have to return to your home. This way you get some relief.

Again, and Elder Law Attorney will help you with your mother's assets.
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Hello I know a caregiver who provides 24/7 care of senior woman at her home, they cook organic food, and have medical beds the place is quiet and the house is for 2 ladies only, the place is located in Florida and they charge $2800 a month with food, laundry, supervision, housekeeping, all utilities include, private room. My mom was there few months until I get my house set up to bring her back with me
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Ahmijoy Sep 2018
I know you’re trying to be helpful and I’d like to go stay in that lady’s house myself. 😊. But you probably shouldn’t put someone’s phone number out on a public site like this. Next time, it might be a better idea to click on their name and private message them. Thanks.
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Hi there - wow the fear of many!  We too find ourselves in "too much" for help, but not "enough" to do without...  a true catch 22, and one I am sure many find themselves in...

I think seeking qualified legal /elder advice is your first best option.  And while I don't know your particular circumstances, I can say that my first and firm recommendation is NOT to resume dual living arrangements.  Probably was not the best the 1st time around, and I can guarantee it will only be worse now.  The burdens are just too great.
I do wish you the best in searching for a viable solution.
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I think many people here can relate to what you're experiencing. Financial management is difficult and everything is so expensive. Too often, we try to figure it all out on our own, with little or no knowledge and only using the balance in our parent's account as our guide. Consulting with an elder care attorney would be a good first step. He/She can go through all the options so that you can make the best practical decision for both you and your mom.
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My heart goes out to you. I wonder if there would be value in taking her to her doc for an evaluation. The doc may find she has need more advanced than AL, needs that would qualify her for Medicaid coverage in a skilled facility. Just a thought. Wishing you the very best as you navigate this difficult challenge.
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