Mom (85) with memory loss. She is safe in senior living where they do the cooking, cleaning etc. She no longer drives. Things seem good where she is and she loves it there. Only the one brother takes all her social security checks from her checking and now is talking her into only 25 thousand from her investments. I have tried to talk to the bank since I am the POA and also listed as her agent on the acct. No luck! They say she is the client and it's her money to give as she wants. She lives in CA and I live in HI. All the other siblings have moved from CA too. Only the one who lives there in town takes her directly to the bank and gets withdrawals. She can't even remember doing it. Frustrating!
Once you have the letters if the POA is spring you can visit the financial instututions and close the old accounts and open new ones that your brother does not have access to.
I would suggest looking into the banks actions. They will understand logic. Ask for a copy of every document regarding your moms account you are able to see & make sure they are following the law at the federal & state level. Be sure to ask a manager for these things not some who-ever you get on the phone. Tell them you are going to file a complaint with the the FTC & any other government financial & banking oversight organizations you can find online. That should turn the tide.
Of course, if you do that, you must also take responsibility for getting her bills paid, etc. You will need to pay the senior living establishment and any other creditors from the new account. Arrange to have all bills sent to you, and if she gets mail, have a forwarding order put in to make sure you get everything. You need to make sure nothing is sent to her where the brother can get a hold of account numbers, etc.
Another step you can take is put a "fraud alert" on any open accounts, including at the bank and at Social Security. Tell them another family member may try to access the funds - and to demand PoA before talking to them.
Does mom still like to write her own checks or use credit cards? If so, you may need to leave some money in the current account, but move the rest and the future payments.
If Mom is happy with your brother, it could be that she wants him to have the money. If you change the SS checks, he can get it changed back if he gets on the phone with her and Social Security. The only way to prevent that is to have her declared incompetent so only you with the PoA can make transactions. If that happens, you must have a back up or you will leave Mom with nothing. You should find a trusted elder care attorney who can advise you on how these things can be done, AND make sure Mom is protected if something happens to you.
I am living a similar situation - except I am right here with Dad and Bro. Dad wants to give Brother his money. Dad figures he won't live forever and he can help his youngest son. Brother is simply a spendthrift and has always needed financial help. My mother was able to keep Dad's generosity in check, but with Mom gone, Brother is his new best friend (even when I spent 5 years living with Dad to care for him, and paid everything out of my own money). I was able to put a stop to the pilfering. I don't like the situation, but I have no right to complain when Dad gives his money away.
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