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Mom (85) with memory loss. She is safe in senior living where they do the cooking, cleaning etc. She no longer drives. Things seem good where she is and she loves it there. Only the one brother takes all her social security checks from her checking and now is talking her into only 25 thousand from her investments. I have tried to talk to the bank since I am the POA and also listed as her agent on the acct. No luck! They say she is the client and it's her money to give as she wants. She lives in CA and I live in HI. All the other siblings have moved from CA too. Only the one who lives there in town takes her directly to the bank and gets withdrawals. She can't even remember doing it. Frustrating!

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Sounds like a set up for disaster if your mother ever needs to apply for medicaid because of people taking out her money which will look to medicaid like gifts. Also, it is not legal for that one brother who is taking all of her social security checks money out of the bank. I don't think contacting APS for your mother dose not have the mind to realize what is going on or that she should be pressing charges. The only thing I can think of is guardianship, but she must have two doctors who evaluate her and say that she is not competent who will testify in court and the whole things costs $5,000. Maybe some others have better ideas. I'm sorry that you two live so far apart!
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I would talk with your brother and rationally explain the consequences to him. Explain that what he is doing is considered undue influence and could have long term consequences making your mother ineligible for medicad. If that does not work have a talk with your siblings and have each of them talk with him stating if it does not end you will call APS and then it will be in the hands of the law. Being a POA from a distance is hard. As POA I think you should be able to exercise for influence over the bank is the documents are written correctly. You say that your brother is taking far more than the $5000 that it will cost to protect your mom. As POA you are required to legally protect your mom. If you are POA and this is happening under your watch you are legally responsible in most states to take action. It is a personal conflict to call the authorities on your brother but it is a legal situation for you if you allow this to continue. If you can't stop the situation with your rights as POA you need to pursue guardianship.
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It may require a trip to California. When is the last time you were there? And I would not tell anybody you are going. Visit all of Mom's financial institutions armed with the POA. If it is a springing POA make sure you have taken Mom to the doctor first. Spring POA's require that there be incapacity before the documemt goes into effect.

Once you have the letters if the POA is spring you can visit the financial instututions and close the old accounts and open new ones that your brother does not have access to.
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As POA I would get on a plane ,go to the bank, close out that acct, set up a trust acct., set up an account for her SS that you have access to and leave the dead beat bro with no way to continue ripping off your Mom. Just say'in.
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Hawaii,All stimulating ideas. Does your mom have a religious pastor/priest etc? Transparency and one day at a time, aj
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When I was going through the same situation, my lawyer told me that with a POA I have the power to stop a family member from bullying my mother into giving him money. I would definitely check with an attorney on what type of POA you have and what does that mean in CA. If you can legally, I would definitely close the account and set up a new one for SS that you control, perhaps sending her an allowance and paying the facility. Guardianship is tricky, as I tried to go through the process myself. If your brother contests, it may get really expensive and end up nowhere.
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Sounds to me like it is a definite misunderstanding. If you are in Hawaii and have POA, then you either need to move to CA or move mom to Hawaii. It's easy to tell someone else what to do or not do when you are not close. Maybe your brother needs to have the POA, as it seems that he is responsible for her. Maybe he is "paying himself" for the overseeing of her. Would that be so wrong?
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oh I feel for you. I am going through the same thing here. I am in Fl and my mother was from CT and now is in NY. my brother and I share POA but he has pushed me out of the whole situation, and I've followed a paper trail on her $ and found out he is using her for the money for his personal use. Well I was in this forum a few months back and got advise..well I have since contacted the Adult protective services and had a check done on my mother, and no luck they are not allowed by law to tell me her situation..another tax payer waste of that organization, and with that I submitted all the paperwork to the District Attorney and they just don't want to help, so I hired a lawyer $500 later he wants $22,000 with an $8000 retainer to just get a mediation started in getting my brother to turn over paperwork, which he should do on a regular basis...don't count on the law they are behind the criminal..the banks big joke...my mom put us on the bank acct. and a few mts ago my brother dragged her to the bank to close out the account and she is with another bank without my knowledge.. the law says it's her money she can do with it what she wants..so get ready..my brother like yours can use up her money up to the state limit..it's $14,000 here, and he met that limit in using in one year. I am trying so hard to protect moms assets and he won't allow me in her life. He has not allowed me to call her in a year, he's afraid if I have her alone I will take her to a lawyer and write him out of a new will. he's evil. The law is good for nothing.. I will have to sit back and accept now what he is doing and telling everyone that he is the good son. He has taken mom from her home because she has onset of Dementia and no one will help me in finding out if she is being treated for it. My brother fears if the truth comes out since she was labeled competent that she is no longer competent he will lose his spending joys. I cannot afford the lawyer and if I were to go for guardianship for my mother I was told it would be first a rape on my character because it's like an adoption of a person.. and they would have to call all family as character witnesses against or for me. I was like forget it, my health has gone down due to all this stress and honestly I say if mom has a clear head then why hasn't she put her foot down to call me herself, it's pretty obvious she is in another world and my brother is mentally abusing her, and the law is a joke..they don't care, if they don't see money passing their hands they aren't really there to help..good luck...please keep us posted on your situation..
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oh I could write volumes on what I experienced as a caregiver.One family sat in the room waiting for their mother to die,wiping out her accounts, ordering out for food,and asking when she was going to die exactly because they had plans..playing cards, ...pretty selfish and disrespectful...may require a trip and an elder lawyer...first talk to your brother,explain the consequences and then act....as for the lady that was dying..she managed to survive a month thus requiring her family yo put all the money back into her accounts and canceling their plans...I could go on and an but you get the drift..you may have to take legal action..good luck and God bless...don't worry "what goes around comes around"..that family had to face the consequences...legally..
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Pita2u, I found this link where you had asked a question back in October. Please go back and re-read the answers, lot of good advice was given.

https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-good-is-a-welfare-check-from-adult-protective-services-174096.htm
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If your question is not a misunderstanding between siblings then I agree with the answer above from panapal. Close the current bank accounts and set up a joint account with the POA that you manage. Have teh Social Security check go to the new account. Speak to the bank where you open the account and tell them you are the only legal authority for access and information to the account. You should get a trust for your mom - you and she can both be trustees or she can appoint you Trustee or Successor Trustee. Then you put the bank account, any property and all assets in the trust to be managed by the Trustee(s). A Trust becomes even more important when your mom passes because4 the Successor Trustee has legal authority to manage your mom's Estate right off the bat without probate which can be long, costly. A trust reduces the family dynamics and arguments because it is in place and reflects your mom's wishes while she is still here.
Consult with a Competent Estate/Trust Attorney.
Sandy Jolley, Reverse Mortgage Suitability and Abuse Consultant
PS I am not an attorney and am not giving legal advice. This response is from 10 years experience consulting with consumers and 11 years caring for my aging parents
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Yes, freqflyer, I did read all those answers and did follow through on all of it. Sadly because I cannot afford a lawyer I have to step back from the situation. I will this week ,write the District Atty. again, telling them that I know for a fact they are supposed to help me but would rather I take a lawyer so the state doesn't have expenses, and in my eyes that is wrong. I'm not the only person who cannot afford a lawyer. Right away the lawyer whom I only wanted to write a letter to my brother and tell him to stop spending moms money has turned it into me getting guardianship over her. a process that could cost up to $150,000 he said. That is good money after something that could backfire on me. with that money I'd rather invest it if I had it. And being that my mother doesn't call me, proves the fact she is isn't aware of the real world anymore. The legal system has once again failed...and such is life...
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Pita2u, check to see if there is a Legal Aid office in your area, said group is available for those who cannot afford an attorney.
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OP, as others have suggested you need to get on a plane to CA and make an unannounced visit, things like this need to be handled in person.

Pita, you're in FL and you mother and brother are in NY, it is a les than 3 hour flight if you're that concerned. Your brother may be ripping your mother off, but you're not the one doing the caregiving either. You can't be caregiving for someone from 1,200 miles away. If you think he is up to no good, get on a plane. You seem very concerned about the money more than mom. He may be pulling a fast one, he also may be paying himself because he is taking care of her.

But you need to take a role in this, not rely on APS or hiring a lawyer, get on a plane.
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I know all the answers to those questions. The deal was she was going to be a snowbird and we were both to have her for the last years.That is why she wanted to sell her home. She knows I am not able to just hop on a plane and run around airports etc..so she was going to stay here during the NY winter months and go back up north for the summer mts. Until they found out what mom was worth and thenI was told I am not to call my brothers house anymore and I will never see my mother again, when I asked him why he said he will see to it that he will have a good life now and get paid back for the years my father hated him.. bizzare...yes I am concerned about the money..there is a million dollar life ins policy that is missing.. and I know my brother and especially his wife..the greed was evident during a funeral..it make me sick. I want to know that , that money will be used in case my mother has to go to a home or needs a full time nurse those clowns go to work and leave her alone until they come home..how fair is that? their answer is that neighbors watch the house..get real how can they make a neighbor responsible for an old woman if she wanders away.? Her home in CT is being watched by neighbors..my brother just throws out money paying them for taking mail and plowing snow. My parents were lax in putting things in writing..it's all for nothing now, all the family members who knew my parents wishes are deceased themselves.. All I wanted was peace and quiet and for my mother to have a quiet rest of her life, she isn't aware of anything so she doesn't care...I was paying all her bills online until he closed out the accounts and the companies started emailing me that payments were bouncing..I couldn't assist them further, as I no longer know where her bank is..and the DA oh well they say my brother will find out soon enough...stupid answers..I worked for a lawyer and know what is right and wrong. My lawyer here cannot assist me as it's out of state. And yes the law protects his wrongdoings...because he can say well she's living here, so I need money... we had both agreed we'd take nothing until she passes.. well his wife thought differently as she's always been pocket poor...now she finally has something.. tell me where does a food shopping bill of $800 a month seem justified for an almost 80yr old...they're feeding their family.. brother bought a $1000 tractor... how does that fit into caring for mom or a new stove, or a car repair for their kids car, or a pressure washing on their house? or college fees.. when I asked mom she was like I didn't do that...see my point
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irishboy is right, for both FL and CA situations a Royal Hibernian style intervention is needed, aka "Family Discussion". No hitting below the waist.
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pita, it sounds like you want it both ways. You're annoyed your brother is skimming money, but your mother is living with your brother and his wife. Caring for an elderly parent in the home takes a lot of energy and money, so perhaps they feel she is living there she can pay for groceries for the family since she isn't paying rent. I do think if an elderly parent is living in the adult child's home they should pitch in financially if possible, and in this case it is possible.

Whether or not they're taking her to the cleaners, YOU need to look into that.

And why can't you hop on a plane? That's nonsense. Whether you're in Tampa, Miami, Orlando there are 4 or 5 non stop flights out of all those airports to NY.

FL to NY is a quick flight. And there are plenty of flights.

If you're that worried you get on a plane and go, no excuses. Under FMLA your employer has to grant you the time off. You go up to NY for a couple of weeks and find out what is going on.

Bottom line, they're the ones who are taking care of mom in their home, not you.

You think something is not right, get on a plane.
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I had a similar experience. My husband was diagnosed with alzheimers but his daughters and son wouldn't accept that. According to them he was failing because I wasn't a good caregiver (and I took an online series of courses from Johns Hopkins in what to do). Theyswooped in and took him away to live with one step daughter, until he required hospitalization and surgery for cancer. He's had multiple ER visits and hospitalizatiions since then and they finally put him in a skilled nursing facility and convinced him I was causing his health problems and that he should divorce me and leave me "homeless and penniless" *their words). They are using his pension and ss$ as their piggy bank. I think he may also be paying for college for one grandson (who comes from a very well-to-do family (top 1%) Medicare and his supplemental plan cover the SNF bills, but according to his atty, he is applying for Medicaid and then there will be a lien on the jointly owned house as it is a lake vacation house and not a primary residence. The stress has been unimaginable and I face the prospect of moving to Maine in the winter to protect my interest in the house. If it weren't for the support of my friends here in Fla.., I'd surely gone off the deep end.
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Irishboy, as I stated earlier, I'm not jealous or whatever one may think. I just know how hard my father worked and what took his life. And the money that was left for my mothers well being was not meant for the greed my brother and his wife are using it for. I cannot just hop on a plane. I am disabled and just cannot do what I used to do. I did contact a lawyer, and sure he's willing to help and get results but it would be $22,000 later..
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The KEEP-SAFE coalition is a non profit that can help you combat financial elder abuse. Their number is (310) 701-8118. KEEP-SAFE stands for Keep Every Elder Protected. Stop Abuse and Exploitation. This is a crime punishable by law in the case of elders with Dementia.
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thank you...very very much I will call them tomorrow
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Pita2u, for someone who hasn't spoken to their mother nor their brother in a year, how are you learning about all these things regarding your Mom, her house, the neighbors, that your mother is being left home alone, etc? And please tell us how are you getting information on what is being spent, such as college, lawn mower, etc? One time you said you had her or your brother's bank statement? How did you get said statements?

Pita2U, please don't take this wrong, but you are not listening to anyone's advise as you keep repeating over and over what you had typed earlier. Stop and take a breath, and re-read all the good suggestions that have been given to you since last April for your questions.

Hope everything works our for you and your Mom.
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I always find it comical when people suggest to talk with someone who is immoral & rationally explain the consequences. Don't waste your time trying to talk rationally to your brother. This would be like explaining logic to a loony. If he thought there would be consequences then he'd stop.
I would suggest looking into the banks actions. They will understand logic. Ask for a copy of every document regarding your moms account you are able to see & make sure they are following the law at the federal & state level. Be sure to ask a manager for these things not some who-ever you get on the phone. Tell them you are going to file a complaint with the the FTC & any other government financial & banking oversight organizations you can find online. That should turn the tide.
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GladImHere and Panapal point out that you have the means to take care of the finances from where you are. You can set up a new bank account and have the current bank close the account and wire the proceeds to the new bank. I would suggest a bank that has a branch that you can access so you can visit in person and speak to a manager if you need anything in the future. You should go to your local social security office with the power of attorney and any documentation you have about her account and arrange for her SS payment to go to the new account.
Of course, if you do that, you must also take responsibility for getting her bills paid, etc. You will need to pay the senior living establishment and any other creditors from the new account. Arrange to have all bills sent to you, and if she gets mail, have a forwarding order put in to make sure you get everything. You need to make sure nothing is sent to her where the brother can get a hold of account numbers, etc.
Another step you can take is put a "fraud alert" on any open accounts, including at the bank and at Social Security. Tell them another family member may try to access the funds - and to demand PoA before talking to them.
Does mom still like to write her own checks or use credit cards? If so, you may need to leave some money in the current account, but move the rest and the future payments.
If Mom is happy with your brother, it could be that she wants him to have the money. If you change the SS checks, he can get it changed back if he gets on the phone with her and Social Security. The only way to prevent that is to have her declared incompetent so only you with the PoA can make transactions. If that happens, you must have a back up or you will leave Mom with nothing. You should find a trusted elder care attorney who can advise you on how these things can be done, AND make sure Mom is protected if something happens to you.

I am living a similar situation - except I am right here with Dad and Bro. Dad wants to give Brother his money. Dad figures he won't live forever and he can help his youngest son. Brother is simply a spendthrift and has always needed financial help. My mother was able to keep Dad's generosity in check, but with Mom gone, Brother is his new best friend (even when I spent 5 years living with Dad to care for him, and paid everything out of my own money). I was able to put a stop to the pilfering. I don't like the situation, but I have no right to complain when Dad gives his money away.
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One thing I have noticed is some of the older generation tend to give a son, who can't even balance his own checkbook, total control over the parent(s) finances.... even though there is a grown daughter who has her degree in accounting and is a CPA. Such old fashion thinking.
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Pita, I believe the phone number given was for the benefit of the OP as it is a Los Angeles area code. I don't think they can help you in FL. The OP was talking about her brother in CA.

You say you're disabled, well that doesn't prevent many from flying, if you need to make arrangements for a wheelchair or assistance than you notify the airline. People get on planes all the time with health issues. If you need to get somewhere you do it.

It sounds like a lot of excuses.
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Banks will hardly ever do anything for an out of state POA. For the protection of their client they cannot close or add co-owners or beneficiaries simply if someone who claims to be a POA calls them on the phone. You must physically both be present in the bank. They will have lots of papers for both of you to sign. If I were you, I would go to CA and bring my mom in and close those accounts. Open new accounts at a separate entity--perhaps 1st Bank of Hawaii. Have all staements electronic and instruct NH to not allow brother access to mom's financial records. You MUST do this as your mom's POA.
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If you are your mother's POA, maybe you need to consider Guardianship, and be appointed as your mother's designated representative for Social Security. Then you can have the funds deposited into an account you control exclusively, fir your mother. Banks should not be ignoring POAs...i would close those accounts immediately and get a lawyer to help me. It sounds like your mother is no longer competent to handle financial matters. I would also instruct brother to STOP or face legal action to repay any funds he receives. I would report any exploitation concerns to Adult Protective Services. Let them investigate. The bank can be made to cover your mothers losses if they had reason to believe she was no longer capable of managing her account by virtue of your timely notification. Remember, all POAs expire when the person who gave it dies. You need authority that survives her death. You also need to be named executor if she still is competent to execute a will. If not, a court will decide that when the time comes...make sure you are getting her statements etc. SSA is a start, to preserve at least those funds from misuse!
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I have access to my mothers accounts and was able with my POA to get documents for the DA. The only account I no longer can see is the bank account . the bank said my brother brought my mother in to close her acct. they said they didn't question because they dont want to get involved. I know who's watching because my brother has a big mouth and talks, and forgets the people he talks too also know me. And we talked about it a year ago and I told him I wasn' t happy with strangers watching moms house, even if it was her neighbors. it's not their place. You can only ask a neighbor for just so long. And my brother's kids are stupid and leave an open trail via internet which made me do more hunting. which led me to where I am with no answers from the legal end. Irishboy I don't need to open up my personal business as to why I cannot get to NY. If I were able, I would of been there long ago. if you can walk count your blessings..
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sadly a lot of these agencies don't care. that's what I got off the lawyer. they hear these stories everyday...but yet they are the first ones to make a hard time when you need state aid because a sibling wasted all the money, because their stupid answers are, well if mom or dad is alittle fit in the head it was their choice, and when someone like me comes along to claim fraud they say things like irishboy..oh you're jealous you don't have the money.. and then the state ends up paying anyhow for their stupidity in the first place. it's a losing battle,
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