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Do the best that you can. At this time is it really important? The only thing that matters is that she is happy the days she is with you. This will be short, becasue my mother is on hospice care. I do not care what they say is needed. The only thihg that is important is your time with her. Clean teeth or not. She will not be with you long enough to care about the small things including her teeth cleaning. Enjoy the time you have. Take it from someone who"s mother is on hospice and does not now how long she has. Her teeth are the last thing I am worried about. Just enjoy your time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Do the best that you can. At this time is it really important? The only thing that matters is that she is happy the days she is with you.The only thihg that is important is your time with her. Clean teeth or not. She will not be with you long enough to care about the small things including her teeth cleaning. Enjoy the time you have. Take it from someone who"s mother is on hospice and does not now how long she has. Her teeth are the last thing I am worried about. My concern is spending time with my mom singing, reminicing and enjoying her company while she is still with me. THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT TIME SPENT ENJOYING HER. Who cares about anything else. My mother will soon be gone. I would rather spend time with her that worrying about her hygeine at this time. I will not remeber if she brushed her teeth. but I will remember her songs, her voice, her laugh, and her hugs and kisses
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I am very gentle with my mom . I always announce that it is time to brush your teeth. Then I hold her hand and we get the toothbrush etc. Then we walk over to the sink. I look her in the eyes and say ok i want to brush your teeth...90 percent of the time she opens; i have to lift her gums because she does not open wide and I keep talking the entire time; you're so pretty; thank you for doing this, etc etc; when she starts pushing my hand away i retriet. But i don't quit because i have only done one side. Then I tell her again that I would ike to brush the other side etc. I respect her choice. Since 90 percent of the time she does open there are just some days she doesn't want this done.

Talk to your mom before you do it and while you are doing it with a happy expression. Maybe she had forgotten (the brain) what brushing is, hence instead of brushing she bites the brush and she may not understand open your mouth. Can you gently try to slip your fingers and brush in there ....my technique isn't great but it works for my mom. i aways announce when I am going to do something.
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I agree with both of the above responses. Suzmarie sounds like a wonderful caregiver---especially admire her gentleness and allowing/encouraging her mom to be the director. My situation in caring for my sister was different in that she was cognitively impaired far beyond just memory loss. Nonetheless, we managed fairly well with patience, respect, and gentleness as noted above. I would add that I was NOT able to get my sister to swish and spit nor swallow on command. Oh well. I still used toothpaste, and after each brushing I'd watch her swallow a little as I finished with/removed the toothbrush. Then I would spray mouthwash inside her mouth, using my thumb and fingers to now hold her mouth open as much as possible. I used a small (6 ounce) clear spray bottle (approx. $1 in WalMart) filled with a minty wash (blue Scope, etc.) and gave 2 or 3 quick squirts. I directed the spray at the inner surfaces of her teeth, not towards her throat so as to avoid stimulating her gag or cough reflex center. Hope this suggestion helps you.
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If you are kinda worried about mouth bacteria, ask your dentist for an Rx for GelKam.
Its a by prescription only Colgate product and is designed for passive tooth care and oral health. it does have a cinnaminty taste and my mom at first found it warm but is used to it now. Also comes in a rinse.
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You are not suppose to swall GelKam!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes my mom swishes and spits an sometimes she swallows....ugh so we cannot use the Gel Kam. yes, i let mom be the director and will do so as long as she can do it. she is the director in most areas as well except it is my directive when she needs to get in and out of the car.
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peigeone, You're welcome! I think you've got the right idea. I was a little concerned when I got the impression others might have misunderstood my intentions. Though I wouldn't want my sister to suffer needlessly from tooth decay (she was an 11 year victim of FTD), I never worried/obsessed about perfection in mouth care! The teeth brushing routine I described above was something MY SISTER wanted and sincerely thanked me for each time. (I am not exaggerating when I tell you I get teary eyed just thinking about how humbled I felt, how much little things like this meant to her, and how honored and pleased that I could provide loving care and help her maintain some quality and dignity through her dying days.) Again, hope this helps.
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You just do the best you can. That is all you can do. Sometimes things just won't get done like we would like to. We just take it day by day. Some days you will get to do a better job than others.
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I know everyone is different. Mom use to take the brush and go to town, now I have to start for her, which she doesn't like, so she takes the brush from me and finishes. We got some toothpaste that isn't so extremely minty, as it seemed to be too strong for her and she would resist. I'm lucky, Mom will even let me floss sometimes.
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Keep trying to brush to prevent tooth decay problems.
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