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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I am very gentle with my mom . I always announce that it is time to brush your teeth. Then I hold her hand and we get the toothbrush etc. Then we walk over to the sink. I look her in the eyes and say ok i want to brush your teeth...90 percent of the time she opens; i have to lift her gums because she does not open wide and I keep talking the entire time; you're so pretty; thank you for doing this, etc etc; when she starts pushing my hand away i retriet. But i don't quit because i have only done one side. Then I tell her again that I would ike to brush the other side etc. I respect her choice. Since 90 percent of the time she does open there are just some days she doesn't want this done.
Talk to your mom before you do it and while you are doing it with a happy expression. Maybe she had forgotten (the brain) what brushing is, hence instead of brushing she bites the brush and she may not understand open your mouth. Can you gently try to slip your fingers and brush in there ....my technique isn't great but it works for my mom. i aways announce when I am going to do something.
You just do the best you can. That is all you can do. Sometimes things just won't get done like we would like to. We just take it day by day. Some days you will get to do a better job than others.
I agree with both of the above responses. Suzmarie sounds like a wonderful caregiver---especially admire her gentleness and allowing/encouraging her mom to be the director. My situation in caring for my sister was different in that she was cognitively impaired far beyond just memory loss. Nonetheless, we managed fairly well with patience, respect, and gentleness as noted above. I would add that I was NOT able to get my sister to swish and spit nor swallow on command. Oh well. I still used toothpaste, and after each brushing I'd watch her swallow a little as I finished with/removed the toothbrush. Then I would spray mouthwash inside her mouth, using my thumb and fingers to now hold her mouth open as much as possible. I used a small (6 ounce) clear spray bottle (approx. $1 in WalMart) filled with a minty wash (blue Scope, etc.) and gave 2 or 3 quick squirts. I directed the spray at the inner surfaces of her teeth, not towards her throat so as to avoid stimulating her gag or cough reflex center. Hope this suggestion helps you.
I know everyone is different. Mom use to take the brush and go to town, now I have to start for her, which she doesn't like, so she takes the brush from me and finishes. We got some toothpaste that isn't so extremely minty, as it seemed to be too strong for her and she would resist. I'm lucky, Mom will even let me floss sometimes.
Do the best that you can. At this time is it really important? The only thing that matters is that she is happy the days she is with you. This will be short, becasue my mother is on hospice care. I do not care what they say is needed. The only thihg that is important is your time with her. Clean teeth or not. She will not be with you long enough to care about the small things including her teeth cleaning. Enjoy the time you have. Take it from someone who"s mother is on hospice and does not now how long she has. Her teeth are the last thing I am worried about. Just enjoy your time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do the best that you can. At this time is it really important? The only thing that matters is that she is happy the days she is with you.The only thihg that is important is your time with her. Clean teeth or not. She will not be with you long enough to care about the small things including her teeth cleaning. Enjoy the time you have. Take it from someone who"s mother is on hospice and does not now how long she has. Her teeth are the last thing I am worried about. My concern is spending time with my mom singing, reminicing and enjoying her company while she is still with me. THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT TIME SPENT ENJOYING HER. Who cares about anything else. My mother will soon be gone. I would rather spend time with her that worrying about her hygeine at this time. I will not remeber if she brushed her teeth. but I will remember her songs, her voice, her laugh, and her hugs and kisses
Thanks for all of your suggestions!! I'm going to try and if I meet any resistance...I'm moving on and enjoying the rest of our day. At this point, it really isn't that important, I was just STUCK in what we always did.
If you are kinda worried about mouth bacteria, ask your dentist for an Rx for GelKam. Its a by prescription only Colgate product and is designed for passive tooth care and oral health. it does have a cinnaminty taste and my mom at first found it warm but is used to it now. Also comes in a rinse.
You are not suppose to swall GelKam!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes my mom swishes and spits an sometimes she swallows....ugh so we cannot use the Gel Kam. yes, i let mom be the director and will do so as long as she can do it. she is the director in most areas as well except it is my directive when she needs to get in and out of the car.
peigeone, You're welcome! I think you've got the right idea. I was a little concerned when I got the impression others might have misunderstood my intentions. Though I wouldn't want my sister to suffer needlessly from tooth decay (she was an 11 year victim of FTD), I never worried/obsessed about perfection in mouth care! The teeth brushing routine I described above was something MY SISTER wanted and sincerely thanked me for each time. (I am not exaggerating when I tell you I get teary eyed just thinking about how humbled I felt, how much little things like this meant to her, and how honored and pleased that I could provide loving care and help her maintain some quality and dignity through her dying days.) Again, hope this helps.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Talk to your mom before you do it and while you are doing it with a happy expression. Maybe she had forgotten (the brain) what brushing is, hence instead of brushing she bites the brush and she may not understand open your mouth. Can you gently try to slip your fingers and brush in there ....my technique isn't great but it works for my mom. i aways announce when I am going to do something.
Its a by prescription only Colgate product and is designed for passive tooth care and oral health. it does have a cinnaminty taste and my mom at first found it warm but is used to it now. Also comes in a rinse.