I am starting to fall apart from the pressure of taking care of my mother. My mom won't move around at all except to go to the bathroom. I need to bring her food and water. I am completely intimidated by her and she was so angry when I brought up a nursing home. It is so hard taking care of everything but I know I would feel such guilt if I forced her to go to a nursing home. I have one brother but he won't do anything to help. I have retired but took a part-time job just to keep my sanity.
Please, do get a counselor so you can get some support on self esteem, practice dialog, etc. I have the same built-in fear of my mother but you can move past that so it won't prevent you from doing what you need to along the way. Good luck.
I see from your profile that your Mom had moved in with you 20 years ago after your Dad passed. Oh my gosh, that's a long time. What happens is that the parent once again sees you as the "child" and not as an adult, thus the elder continues to parent the "child" even though we know what we are doing.... [sigh].
Could Mom afford Assisted Living? Some places are like hotels, and she would be around people from her own generation. And she could make some new best friends.
Some elders, depending on their age, stereotype nursing homes as mental wards as that is how it was back generations ago. No way are they going to go there.
I like the idea of going back to work part-time, maybe while you are at work your Mom will start moving around as you aren't there at her beckon call.