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I had dad discharged 3 wks ago to my home. I've taken care of him many times when the nh we chose didn't work out. he has had 3 strokes but is still independent with some assistance at home. In the nh he wears diapers, is made to sit in his wheelchair or stay in bed. He was abused by an CNA in this Nursing home and I met with the administrative staff about this several times & they just acted like they were concerned but always said they couldn't figure out which CNA it was that abused him. They actually started yelling at me when I said I was bringing in the police to file assault charges. Finally I had to let it go because they were never gonna tell me the truth. Now dad wants to go back there after having a meltdown complete with screaming, falling, rolling around on the floor and calling me names that made my ears hurt. I called 911 because he was so out of control and wouldn't let anyone help him off the floor. He is in the hospital because the Dr admitted him because he was confused (their words) & wanted to do several test to see if he had any more damage since the stroke, etc to cause this behavior. I saw him in the hospital yesterday and the nurses said he's the sweetest man they ever had as a patient. They were surprised when I explained why he was there in the first place. I have POA both financially and medically but it doesn't include making decisions on his admittance to a nh. I did have to sign many papers when he was admitted to this nh before. I will refuse to do it this time. We had to much trouble out of this place. If dad was admitted for confusion how would he be able legally to say where he wants to go? I would rather he come back home here. If not I have another nh I want him to go to if they have a bed available.

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How do you know your father was being abused? One idea, is to install hidden cameras in his room if you send him back.

Why not find another facility for him? Check their reviews online (yelp, google, ombudsman, etc).

While Mom was at a 5 star assisted living facility we found multiple unexplained injuries (gouges in her skin, blisters in odd places on her thighs, etc) and Mom made several troubling comments about certain caretakers. I called our local ombudsman, spoke to the ED, medtechs, and eventually we pulled her out and placed her into a loving nursing home. I pop in at irregular times and am generally well pleased with her treatment where she currently resides.
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I knew my dad was abused because he said so and his roomate who is a younger gentleman with a hip fracture & no memory/confusion problems validated what dad said. matter of fact he's the one who brought it to my attention. The cna found dad washing his hands in the bathroom (in his wheelchair) & got mad & rolled him backwards into his room knocking into the door frame and dads arm was caught between the chair& the doorframe. In the room she started yelling at him and then left the room. 15 minutes later dad was ready for bed & waited in his doorway for her to come by and help him into bed. When she showed up he asked for help and she pushed him to beside his bed and said "you want to go to bed huh" ? & picked him up & tossed him into bed. And she left him like that. When the next shift CNA came on duty she found him sideways in his bed. Uncovered and wet.
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Okay. Can the roommate identify the CNA who did that? Either way, I'd contact the ombudsman in your county to report it.

Look for a new facility to place your father.

All the best to you and your dad. I know how hard this can be as I've gone through similar experiences and it is so painful to know that our parents are being deliberately abused.
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