I had dad discharged 3 wks ago to my home. I've taken care of him many times when the nh we chose didn't work out. he has had 3 strokes but is still independent with some assistance at home. In the nh he wears diapers, is made to sit in his wheelchair or stay in bed. He was abused by an CNA in this Nursing home and I met with the administrative staff about this several times & they just acted like they were concerned but always said they couldn't figure out which CNA it was that abused him. They actually started yelling at me when I said I was bringing in the police to file assault charges. Finally I had to let it go because they were never gonna tell me the truth. Now dad wants to go back there after having a meltdown complete with screaming, falling, rolling around on the floor and calling me names that made my ears hurt. I called 911 because he was so out of control and wouldn't let anyone help him off the floor. He is in the hospital because the Dr admitted him because he was confused (their words) & wanted to do several test to see if he had any more damage since the stroke, etc to cause this behavior. I saw him in the hospital yesterday and the nurses said he's the sweetest man they ever had as a patient. They were surprised when I explained why he was there in the first place. I have POA both financially and medically but it doesn't include making decisions on his admittance to a nh. I did have to sign many papers when he was admitted to this nh before. I will refuse to do it this time. We had to much trouble out of this place. If dad was admitted for confusion how would he be able legally to say where he wants to go? I would rather he come back home here. If not I have another nh I want him to go to if they have a bed available.
Look for a new facility to place your father.
All the best to you and your dad. I know how hard this can be as I've gone through similar experiences and it is so painful to know that our parents are being deliberately abused.
Why not find another facility for him? Check their reviews online (yelp, google, ombudsman, etc).
While Mom was at a 5 star assisted living facility we found multiple unexplained injuries (gouges in her skin, blisters in odd places on her thighs, etc) and Mom made several troubling comments about certain caretakers. I called our local ombudsman, spoke to the ED, medtechs, and eventually we pulled her out and placed her into a loving nursing home. I pop in at irregular times and am generally well pleased with her treatment where she currently resides.