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Stressed15, you have a lot of good suggestions here and many are right on the money. You do have to sane and do for yourself. When my Dad was in the hospital, I didn't go see him every night though, I talked with my brother and suggested we pick a couple of days a week or at least one day and go see him, visit for a short time and then leave. There was one time I stayed to watch a tv show with him because when he wasn't in the hospital (he had COPD) he lived with me for 9 years. Each week I went and stayed a couple of hours to watch one show that we always watched and then I called him every other day because I couldn't go every day either. You have to find the schedule that you can work with and no one should say anything until they walk in your shoes. Call your siblings and if you have to, set a schedule up for them and expect them to show up and visit as well. Sometimes, they are content with just a phone call checking on them. Tell Mom NO complaining unless it's a dire emergency. That puts you in a foul mood when you have to listen to complaints all the time, every time. When my Dad passed away, I didn't feel guilty for the days I didn't go either. You must take time for your own life. Alternate between going to visit for 1hour only every other weekend and calling for 30 min. on the alternate weekend and see how that goes. If she's fine with it, start stretching out the visits and calls but just don't skip more than a month without going to see her. she'll be gone soon enough and you don't want any guilt when she finally passes. Whatever you do, don't stay more than an hour unless you are watching a movie that you both like or she'll get in the habit of you being there all the time. Bring her books, puzzles to work and things for her to do. Go to one of the get-togethers that AL usually has and go around to visit some of the patients and their families. Introduce your mother to some of the people so she will want to visit with them, and talk with them when you're not there at the next get-together. Don't worry, it's going to work its self out.
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