Apparently my narc dad has been occupied with other things lately so moms has turned her focus on me. She's been very depressed since her sister died last year and just now barely getting out of the house. She of course is very codependent on dad and when he's not there for her she thinks it's her duty to turn to me. Since they weren't there for me growing up, I am very well independent without either of them. I'm not here for her convenience or to be blamed for her depression as she has already done. She has called everyday for a week just "checking up" and I have stopped answering the phone. I told her last week she needed to get with her sister who is going. Through the same issues, go to church, get a new routine, I have suggested everything. She doesn't listen to anything but talks over me and all about herself. Dad is appeasing her telling her to go buy nice things for herself and patronizing her and she thinks he's becoming a better person all of the sudden- "changing" she says. None of that's true. It never is.
I have given her all the answers I have and even on the phone she is just draining of my energy like a vampire! She wants to visit but I can't take that. Fortunately I live an hour away so that helps. Thank goodness. Any other suggestions? Oh and I suggested therapy, no go there.
take care of you, give her what you can, but you decide what that is. You cannot make her life better, nor is it your responsibility