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This is not an open invitation to agree or disagree. I'm just wondering if others still face ongoing criticism of your choices no matter the side you are on.


A person with Parkinson’s (and elderly in general) can be very high risk for pneumonia because their ability to produce a deep cough can be limited. Because of this I continue to be protective of my husband.


Even before COVID we did not go to church when flu risk was high, only took him into stores during the slow hours and used Walmart grocery pickup when they were the only ones offering it. Now I am extremely thankful to have our church by streaming video and have even more pickup or delivery shopping options.


Now that most people have relaxed their personal guard against COVID I have received “encouragement” that I should do the same. I CHOOSE to wear a mask in public groups (even outside), I avoid groups unless necessary, I try to keep my distance when possible, I ask repairmen and caregivers to wear a mask when entering my home, etc.


Is it inconvenient? YES. However, I keep trying to explain that I will be the one to pay the consequences if either one of us get even just a cold. Being a caregiver is hard enough without having a stuffy head, etc. Others can go to bed and sleep it off when they feel bad but not a 24/7 caregiver. He is very little help for me or himself when I have a down day. Should we both get sick at the same time I honestly don’t know how we would fare. Yes, others would offer to help but I’m sure there would be no one able to step in and replace me. The VA gives me 14 hours of caregiver assistance a week. If used at one time, that is not even one 24 hour period.


The experiences we have had with previous hospitalizations tells me that we definitely don’t want to have another. If it is the caregiver who is hospitalized, there is the added stress not knowing who or how their loved one is being cared for back at home.


Yes, I do have faith in God that he is in control and whatever happens He will carry me through. However, I don’t feel it gives me the freedom to throw caution to the wind . For me, following basic COVID protocol is a lot easier to minimize the risks.

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We went to a family dinner on Sunday. Less than a week later, everyone at the dinner had tested positive except us.

Brother is still going to work but wesrs a mask.

SO, too, wears a mask at his new work, which is at an independent living plus AL. He made the decision that he’d have to tell them if he tested positive, despite the fact that he just started. Because it’s an old folks home after all.

But like bil and sil, a lot of people are continuing to go to work, shopping etc. The more conscientious of them wear masks. The mask signifies that the wearer doesn’t want you to be a problem, either by you giving them covid or the other way around. I respect their position by giving them some social distance, not to ostracize them but because i assume they have good reason.
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CTTN55 Jun 2022
"Brother is still going to work but wesrs a mask."

No isolation at all? Wow. Where does he work?
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Please don’t let others influence the decisions you feel strongly about. Wise people don’t criticize others!
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It's your choice. I personally have many questions about all the actions that have been taken. I had the 2 vacs and one booster. But masks not much except when I've had to. I tell people who call to stop by that I don't mask and will not in my home for anyone else.
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People have no more right to advise you to take off your mask, if you choose to wear one, than they have to tell you that you should not carry an umbrella because the forecast says there is only a 40% chance of rain. This is a personal choice that we can make for ourselves. If you choose to be more careful than a neighbor or relative that is your business, not theirs, in public places.

When it comes to persons entering your home it is entirely your business and anyone who comes to your home for any reason should respect your wishes to wear a mask without question. Bear in mind that many currently insist that everyone who enters their home remove their shoes and have every expectation that their wishes will be followed. It is YOUR home and anyone who comes into it should comply with your preference.
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Just keep doing what you're doing. Many of those opposed to mask wearing were the same ones who never did it anyway (unless there was something they really wanted to do and couldn't enter any other way). They argued with business owners instead of just going elsewhere to a business who could care less. Some people had the mindset that even when an elderly person died from it, everyone dies from something....and what a long life that person already had. On the other hand, there were many who took no precaution because they believed it was a hoax or that it was no different than the annual flu and when they had an outbreak in the family, were overcome with guilt for taking the warnings so lightly. Many even begged ER staff to give them the vax.

For those who try to encourage you to lighten up, let them know the number of people who died in our country made you a believer that you don't want it and more aware of dangers catching flu or pneumonia (which both have ongoing vaccines). Thanks but no thanks. Keep doing what you're doing.
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Hollypalmetto Jun 2022
sorry but your response sounds like a reason to judge, shame and rant about those who don’t wear a mask or felt differently about government mandates- you’re revealing your political stance by this kind of rhetoric. kind of hypocritical seeing that it’s a choice and that’s the entire point.
As a person who feels much differently than you do, and most of us who do- feel it’s a personal choice and should always have been. Ironically, our responses are the same- it’s her personal choice to wear a mask or ask those who enter your home to do so. Stop the division, stop lumping people together who don’t agree with you. You’re part of the problem! Live and let live. Stop the judgment.
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Everyone has the info they need to make the decision that they are comfortable with. I see a lot of disrespect from people that are vaxxed and boosted and masked - seemingly forgetting or not knowing that this will NOT prevent them from getting covid. Someone actually said something negative about how they wouldn't feel bad if someone unvaxed got it and died. Wow. That's really unkind and judgmental. So, those that choose NOT to vax and mask - they have a right to that choice too.
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KPWCSC: To protect oneself from the Novel Coronavirus is each individual's personal decision.
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It’s your life, I’m still taking my precautions and prepared to answer anyone that dare ask why, my answer will be “you do you and I will do me, so don’t worry about my choices”. I also take care of my 91 year old father, my Mother is in a nursing home with dementia and I spend a lot of time with her, so I’m very careful not to get sick or get them sick.
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I take precautions because of my mom. She is 86 and had Covid in November 2020 and has advanced dementia. I am making choices to keep her safe. You should do whatever makes you feel safe.
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My in laws, both vaccinated, mask whenever they leave the house. These days they only leave to go to the doctors.

FIL tested positive yesterday as did Brothers Wife, their day caregiver. MIL is feeling symptomatic and retesting today.
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The advantage is that I live alone and not have to worry about infecting others in my household. I have not invited anyone in but professionals to get work done. We all have our masks on. Still, I'm getting frustrated with forever social distancing because we are social beings and cannot always make new friends doing so much virtually.
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I totally agree with you and wish everyone thought as you do. I’m a caregiver for my husband and there’s no one to look after us If one or both of us get sick. We have isolated since March 2020, no one comes in without a mask and proof of vax. Supplies are ordered and delivered. We are happy but miss going to entertainment and socializing. Those who refuse to vax or mask are the reason we have to be so careful and shouldn’t go out. We aren’t ready to die if we don’t have to! We might be expendable to others but to ourselves, we are not.
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no one has the right to judge your choices. There is no right or wrong here. It is personal choices. So the people who are judging you should be ashamed of themselves. You do what is best for you and your husband.
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
Thanks, see my response to MissyE on 6/7
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Why get frustrated? This is now a matter of personal choice. It has become a political hot button so some folks just can't keep their opinions to themselves. You'd be wise not to discuss the matter if you don't want to hear opposing opinions. Rather than argue and add to the fire, just change the subject.. If you really like to argue (and, somehow, I suspect that you do) go ahead and do it but don't complain that others don't always agree with you.

You have a right to ask people to wear a mask in your home and they are rude to object. But in public, do what you want and, if it bothers you, ignore those who argue. A wise person once said " A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still"
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I think it’s pretty ballsy for people to “encourage” you to relax your standards.

I still mask indoors in public places. I do feel like I stick out these days, but nobody has actually said anything to me.

If they did, I figure that I’d tell them that my mom is 88 years old and I don’t want to risk passing something on to her. I’d rather be extra safe than be possibly cause her death.

Its a real thing that family members experience regret when they give COVID to an elderly loved one and then it kills them
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sp19690 Jun 2022
Not any less ballsey than the psychological warfare being waged for the past year plus to force everyone to get vaccinated. Especially when we now know it is not effective.
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Yes, I understand you completely. I got push back at the height of the pandemic. Somehow, everyone was immune. It is disrespectful. It goes along with everything else they criticize us for.
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what you have posted is us! t keep getting criticized by my 92 year old husbands daughter ..she works in a zoo amongst others and the public 90 percent unmasked people...nope you aren't coming here...we live by delivery..if I get sick we are done--if he gets sick, I would never forgive myself...we are fine..go only to dr appts and the yard or front porch..You are fine..it isn't up to anyone but you...<3
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They do not merit a response from you. Just a dead stare, and then be on about your business. Kudos to you for your good sense in staying as safe as possible. I do the same.
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You don't have to justify or explain! You can just respond with "others may disagree, but this is our policy, and it works for us, so we're sticking to it." Period, no further discussion.

I'm sorry you're getting pressure. On top of everything else, adding that must be truly exhausting.
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I share your concerns. My elderly mom was exposed to COVID x2 from her caregiver, but did not test positive or show symptoms. Then she was exposed to a variant of influenza not covered by the flu vaccine given last fall. Eventually ended up in ER and admitted for 2 overnights due to flu. Home now, and has 24 hour caregivers...her quality of life is much better now. Meanwhile, I have a chronic illness so high risk....no mask use by caregivers, or my sister who. manages care. My spouse and I stick to our masks, social distancing, etc. Oh, the looks that we get! Stick to what you know is right for you and your husband. It is a burden and feels lonely, for sure.
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To answer your question in your first paragraph: as a caregiver for my mom, I'm not facing any ongoing criticisms and I really don't care what others think.

My mom and I wear a mask if requested by businesses and health professionals. We are both fully vaxxed. Surprisingly some doctor appointments I take her to do not require masks and some meet us in what looks like hazmat suits.

She's going on a flight this month (well deserved after going through chemo and radiation for lung cancer) to Maine and I'll make sure we wear a mask in the airports. Other than that, we will take it as it comes a day at a time.

My mom is my best friend and I'm trying my best for her. You simply do your best, don't worry about others and live your life.
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It's your personal decision how you protect yourself and your husband. As long as your not implying or expecting others to follow your decisions, don't worry about what others say or think, live YOUR life and feel good about it.
I chose certain methods for personnel protection that seem to offend or 'trigger' some people. I chose the freedom to feel safe for my wife and myself and simply ignore negative criticism.
Currently with all the mixed or inaccurate information coming out of the CDC and this government after politicizing their reaction people are really left confused.
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We live in a heavily red area and had problems with those around us wearing a mask even at the height of the first and second waves. DH has an extremely high risk job and underlying issues. I am a therapist with an additional public health degree. It is not unheard of for people to comment to me about wearing a mask. A simple response of "I feel comfortable with the decision I have made" usually suffices. On the occasion that someone persists or starts in with the usual well worn nonsense I just say that their information is incomplete and if they are interested in reliable resources I am happy to pass them along. Then the subject is easily changed because they never wanted the resources and we move on to "Lordy! Can you believe the price of ..."
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It’s your decision not others’. You’ll have to face the consequences should you or your LO get ill. Don’t let others’ preference get to you. People believe that if we forget about COVID and go back to normal, it will go away. Use your own judgment.
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It's your personal decision how you protect yourself and your husband. As long as your not implying or expecting others to follow your decisions, don't worry about what others say or think, live YOUR life and feel good about it.
I chose certain methods for personnel protection that seem to offend or 'trigger' some people. I chose the freedom to feel safe for my wife and myself and simply ignore negative criticism.
Currently with all the mixed or innacurate information comming out of the CDC and this government after politicizing their reaction people are really left confused.
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I have not been criticized for my choice. I have been asked why... I replied we are in mixed company and I would rather take the precaution not to get it. I still keep 6 feet from people and some like to be right up on me. More power to you and keep up the precautions that is how we keep safe.
Prayers for you and yours
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Good for you for continuing to take COVID precautions. Many of us need to continue following COVID protocols even more carefully precisely because so many other people do not.
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anytown Jun 2022
yes, that's the downside of lower covid activity, that people drop their guard so much more
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Each person should discuss his/her risks regarding infectious disease with his/her health care provider - and create a personalized plan of care. Seems like yours is reasonable given the health risks to yourself and your husband. I am hoping we will get to the place where your efforts will not be criticized.
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People who are at high risk of covid complications or who live with such people must take extra precautions when attending indoor or even crowded outdoor events. It may be wise to avoid crowded events, especially if you are in an area with high transmission. I am quoting the health officials for my county, which does have high transmission. Their other advice is to keep up to date on vaccinations. The new covid variants are very contagious, and while they may not be as lethal as previous variants, they can still cause serious illness and death for high-risk people. Use your own judgement. There are few mandates now, but that doesn't mean that everyone can throw caution to the wind. It's your life and your husband's life. Do what you think is best.
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I work with the public and a large staff, and I interact with everyone as socially distanced as possible while wearing a face covering. My entire household (including me) has not had COVID and we are doing everything we can to prevent COVID from entering our bodies.

Me and my wife went to Disneyland a month ago, and we were part of a small group of folks that were wearing face coverings. We asked to be seated on the front of every Rollercoaster and ride, so it created a longer wait time for us but we knew we were safer at the front instead of having all of the screaming folks saliva droplets hitting us in the face. As a result of our precautions, we did not catch COVID after being in a super-packed theme park all day.

Did people look at us like we were aliens, or give us 'the smirk' because they saw us with face coverings? YES, many of them did, but me and my wife didn't care because we are protecting ourselves and an elderly sick mother waiting at our home. The 24-hour caregiver we paid to stay with mom had to wear a face covering around mom, wash her hands for 20-seconds, and wipe down her phone and other touched surfaces with alcohol wipes.

We also use curbside pick-up for groceries (except for picking produce and meats).

So I get it!

Protect your household by requiring face coverings, shoe coverings, hand washings, sanitizing wipes, etc.

Do what you feel is necessary to protect your household!
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