She yells at people who can not do what she wants right now. She gets around, eats, plays games, and goes shopping with the residents. She does not need help. She just wants her way and to get attention. She was yelling at the cook at the door of the kitchen and down the hall when the cook was trying to deliver the meals to others rooms. When I took away her phone, she stopped and did not throw a fit for 2 weeks. She started to cry and yell if she did not win at bingo after the 2 weeks. She decided to tell the State representative for the nursing home that she wants me to stop taking things away from her. As her caregiver, do I have any rights?
Hope she has a nice life and bye bye bitty!
That is your right. You do not have to continue to do anything for her.
Why not step back and let others handle Ellen? You have been doing this so long I get it that it will be difficult for you to do but a reset sounds in order. Why not stay away for two weeks and let it happen? Have you ever done that before? Let the staff know you are away so they don’t waste time calling you unless she is expected to pass or they need your POA authority to make a decision. All of these people are professionals. They would probably like an opportunity to see if they can settle her.
If she does better when you are away would you be able to handle that? I see your bio says she has been in three NHs. Was she kicked out? Being so upset couldn’t be good for her either. Has a geriatric psychiatrist seen her? Let us know what action you decide to take.
That said there are medications that will help with anger, anxiety and her frustration.
Are you POA or Guardian? You could relinquish either if you do not want to put up with the drama. You can let the state take over as her Guardian but at that point you will have no say in what happens or where she would go if they decide to transfer her. Can you explain this to Ellen if she is cognizant and can comprehend this information. And I am sure no one wants the State to decide what becomes of them.
to cancel that charge card because she did not want it anymore. Her husband was in prison from around 2003-2006. She filed bankruptcy for thousands of dollars while her only Daughter moved in and told her mother to pay all the bills for both of them. I hired an Attorney to help me settle Ellen's estate and another one to help me with all the paperwork to give me the right to take care of Ellen. Ellen's daughter has used Ellen's name with her daughter's address to try to open at open 1 charge card, to buy a car, and to buy a house. I think her daughter has seen her 3 times since Ellen has been in a NH. Ellen has a granddaughter with 3 or 4 great grandchildren. They call her often and send her pictures. She has an older sister in New Mexico that she calls often just to talk about the past. She has a sister 1 year younger than her that can not understand Ellen on the phone, but they exchange letters and cards. James is one year younger than this sister and can not understand Ellen on the phone either. After we closed her estate, she had $2,000 in her bank account. She is allowed to keep $60 each month. Social security puts her check in the bank, and the 2 insurance companies and the NH draft their part. I make sure there is 60 left on each bank statement. I have talked to the NH administrator and he said she can stay until she shows worse signs of being dangerous to herself or to others. I am going to take care of my husband as his full time caregiver and let the NH try to control Ellen's anger with therapy and medication. They have been trying to help her for 2 years this June. Thank you for you reply.
Yes, its time for you to back away. If you have POA, revolk ur responsibility. Allow the NH to become Ellen's guardian. The State will assign someone to oversee her care.
Your DH should now be your priority. You will have enough on ur shoulders without worrying about Ellen.
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