My boyfriend moved in with his grandpa last year to take care of him. We all thought it may be a temporary situation as it was 3 hours away. His grandfather is 92 and is wheelchair bound. We have tried to make the best of the situation and I drive there most weekends to be with him. However my boyfriend would like to come home once in awhile with his grandfather but he refuses to go which forces my boyfriend to be stuck as he cannot leave his grandpa alone. This is hard for us as i have responsibilities where i can't always leave to go three hours away. Caregivers are hard to find in his small town and if available are costly. I think that my boyfriend should force the issue but he does not. What are others thoughts?
What VA help has he applied for? Has he applied for/would he be eligible for Medicaid? If Grandpa has $5,000 a month he should use it for a care center. If he doesn't he should apply for Medicaid.
Your BF probably cannot force GP into a care center, but BF can certainly make his own decisions. He can decide that a year is all he can offer and that he is going to return to you. And once he makes this decision, then GP will have some tough reality to face.
BF's tough reality is he must choose between building and nurturing the relationship he has with you and continuing to take sole care of grandpa. You or Grandpa. Tough choices.
It is possible, of course, to combine the two. BF moves back with you and moves GP into a care center near you, so he is able to visit and advocate for the old guy. Sounds like a good solution to me, but if GP won't cooperate, tough choices must be made. (And why should GP be in any frame of mind to cooperate, when he has what he wants now?)
I was dealing with a similar situation with my grandmother. What my husband and I decided to do was, tell her that the were coming to fumigate the house and that we all had to get out, we explained it was only for an hour and then we'll come right back. Although she gets very hesitant at first she goes with it. Once outside we'll walk around, or even take her for ice cream or a meal. It might sound silly and I know it can become overwhelming but it might just work like it did for us. I'm 24 and my husband 25 we've been caring for my grandmother (89) for 8 months so I know how difficult it can be.
Stay strong and, hope this helps.: )
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