I would like to hear stories about how your health has been affected by sibling(s) that refuse to help you with parents' caregiving. Speaking for myself, I've had high blood pressure and am fatigued most days. I basically consider myself a calm person, but having to deal with impossible to get along with sibling(s), it is really an emotional and physical strain. In addition, do you plan to end the relationship with your sibling(s) at some point that do not help you with caregiving?
The other brother has 5 children living with him and his wife. He travels a lot with his job. He does the best he can to keep up with his job and putting food on the table. His wife home schools and they are very involved with their church. My brother calls when he can, but he doesn't really have the time.
Then there is me. My marriage disintegrated 4.5 years ago, and I work from home. It made sense that I would be the one taking over the caregiving role. So no bad feelings here. Sometimes I try to drum up bad feelings, but it is usually more how I feel about me being here than it is about them not being here. I know that one brother will show up if there is an emergency. The other will show up if there is a funeral. I do like that they trust me. Neither question anything that I think would be a good thing to do. It works mostly (though I'm bored!).
I was very upset at one point with my sibling, I gave it time, I was mad, but I never shut her out completely, I remained civil, largely for my father's sake. I also remained focused on wanting a relationship with my nephew and niece. Out of the blue one day, she took the first step to reconcile, thankfully before father passed. Today she is taking the lead in caring for mom and our relationship is strong. I lost my father, I will lose my mother. I really did not want to lose my sister. I share this to say that families can have rifts and rifts can heal.
I hope you will be well and that your family will heal.
You have to take care of yourself and allowing siblings or whoever to affect your health is a personal decision that only you can change. God bless!
He refuses to follow the court order (which could get him arrested). He even called to get money from our Mom the other day. He hasn't been here all year, but the last 2 times, he kept calling me names in front of our mother (crazy & fat (this from a 56-year old man). I used to have low blood pressure, now it's borderline; I have to deal with my Mom's anger and abuse and now he's the Golden Prince. He is actually just like our Mom. I am always anxious and just plain worn out. And the minute she is gone, he will have his big, fat hand out. Then I plan to move back to where we grew up and never see his nasty a** ever again.
It's something I kind of struggle with myself - I tend to be a workaholic because I own my own business and work from home - so if I don't make the money come in, it's not going to happen. That drive tends to spill over into other areas of my life, which is sometimes good, sometimes bad.
Please try to find a way to decompress and get some time to yourself, even if it's having a respite caregiver come in and take care of your parent(s) when you can, so you can just go out for a walk, take yourself shopping or just get away for a while. Go someplace quiet and just relax and reflect for a while.